Deadliest Cartoon Character
by PLC The CD
Summary: My tribute and homage to SPIKE TV's hit series "Deadliest Warrior" only with cartoon characters dueling to the death. Rated T for obvious character deaths. Tenth Battle...The Kids Next Door vs the Brotherhood of Mutants! Please review after reading!
1. AJ Vs Jimmy Neutron

**Deadliest Cartoon Character**

_Disclaimer: I neither own the cartoon characters nor Spike TV's hit "The Deadliest Warrior" This is just for pure entertainment and not to be taken seriously…_

_Narrator: AJ, smartest child in Dimmsdale. A winner of many science fairs, the only student who receives As from Crocker's tests, with Ivy League intelligence, and friend of Timmy Turner._

(We see a bald African American child wearing a blue vest sweater, gray colored slacks, and black dress shoes.)

_Narrator: Jimmy Neutron, smartest child in Retroville. The star of his show, a super powered mind, and a mechanical canine, while rescuing the day from sure destruction._

(We see a Caucasian American boy with brown 50s pompadour style hair, donning a red t-shirt with a yellow atom in the middle, a pair of blue jeans, and black and white Converse Sneakers.)

_The two boys are child prodigies in Nickelodeon. Both have finest intelligence in their shows, invented many inventions, and arrogant to the fault._

(The screen shows Jimmy Neutron working feverishly in his secret lab, and then cutaway to AJ winning yet another trophy in his school's science fair.)

_Narrator: WHO…IS…THE…DEADLIEST?_

(The two boys charge at each other in the city streets to the battle to the death)

_Narrator: They will reveal to their superior intuition and intellect to each other, by a duel to the death with neither rules nor mercy. Who is the more cunning one? Whose tactics outwit the other? Whose cuisine reign supreme? Only on…_

**DEADLIEST WARRIOR**

The scene now shows inside building where sounds of fighting are heard. Various weapons, targets, and animal carcasses are displayed along with some high tech looking gear.

_Narrator: Inside the fight club, the host of the fan fiction had gathered the contenders' friends and their inventions to test on who will win a match between…AJ_

AJ's Stats:

Age: 10

Show: The Fairly Odd Parents

Role in the show: Major supporting character

Hometown: Dimmsdale, California

_Narrator: And Jimmy Neutron_

Jimmy's Stats:

Age: 11

Show: Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius

Role in the show: The main protagonist

Hometown: Retroville, Texas

AJ's team is represented by two of his friends… Timmy Turner and Chester McBadbat.

For Jimmy Neutron is represented by his friends/test subjects of his own. Carl Wheezer and Sheen Estevez.

_Narrator: The two teams are confident that their genius friend will win._

"Jimmy maybe smart and all, and we've helped each other plenty of times," Timmy said admitting his rival's smarts. "But I've yet to see if he's smart enough to beat Crocker's tests."

"AJ had smart parents, and everyone knows that smart parents equals smart kids." Chester said. "I doubt that even Jimmy can beat him in a game of chess, where you got to king him."

"Err, Chester that's checkers…" Timmy explained to him by whispering in his ear. "Chess is the game with the plastic horses."

"That's checkers?" Chester asked with an astonished look. "Then that explains why the pieces all look like tiny hockey pucks."

Back to Jimmy's team…

"Wow, a fight between Jimmy and AJ?" Sheen asked excitedly. "It's going to be a greater fight than Ultra Lord Vs The Crimson Chin Vs Crash Nebula!"

"Sheen, you got to answer who will win." Carl explained to his excited friend.

"Oh, then Jimmy wins all the way." Sheen said remembering his lines. "Anyone who can fight aliens and can beat any bald kid."

"Jimmy also appreciates llamas like, anyone who doesn't like llama isn't a nice person." Carl stated. "In our adventures, Jimmy saved our derrières plenty of times. AJ just abandons his friends."

_Narrator: The teams brought four of their friends' greatest inventions…_

AJ's weapons:

Wristwatch Laser

His Clones

Stink Bombs

Professor AJ mode

Jimmy's weapons:

Neutron Flare Gun

Hyper Cube

Hypno Ray

N-Men powder

_Narrator: Testing for long-range combat is the Wristwatch laser._

Chester rolled up his sleeves revealing a simple watch.

"This is the smaller version of the security system from his house, now it's portable enough to defend yourself from a bully." He said as he walked into a firing range filled with several gel dummies all dressed like Francis. "This is a weapon you don't want to come across, since I nearly got friend myself."

Chester positions himself as he yelled, "Ready to fire to the count to three…THREE!"

A steady red beam fired across the range while emanating from the watch. All the gel dummies disintegrated into ashes.

No one has to be a doctor to know that the laser delivers a quick and painless death, but Jimmy's team isn't impressed.

"Nothing personal, but Jimmy's weapon is better and cooler." Sheen said as he begins wielding the Neutron Flare Gun. "Not only it can zap enemies but it can go even farther too!"

Sheen walks up to the same firing range with more gel dummies, as the countdown goes down to one. The hyperactive kid fires the flare gun and engulf all the dummies into flames, although it didn't completely incinerate the targets like the wristwatch laser. It'll give the victim a slow and agonizing death.

Sheen announced earlier that the Neutron Flare can go longer range and went outside to a larger shooting range to proof it. Only this time, the targets are dozens of yards farther than their previously fallen comrades. The Mexican boy fires into the sky and the flare rained down on the dummies like a mortar. Fire spreads and engulf the dummies into an inferno.

Chester then went up to the shooting range and attempts to hit the dummies in the same range, but the laser kept missing its target several times before eventually hitting it with only minor burns.

_Narrator: Edge goes to Jimmy Neutron_

Edge: Jimmy Neutron

_Narrator: Confident for their turn, Team Jimmy brought the Hyper Cube for Mid-range combat._

In a safety locked room, similar to an airtight container. Carl is inside opened the Hyperspace Cube to a pile of pig carcasses. The cube created a vacuum and sucked all the nearby carcasses into the infinite space before Carl can close it just in time.

Timmy however isn't impressed as he walks up to him as he said. "AJ's smart enough to run away when danger's near, there's no way he'll just stand there, and get sucked up into your cube."

To proof his point, Timmy then summoned all of AJ's clones, and demonstrated them by ordering them different tasks from doing his homework, cleaning up, and fixing him a sandwich. As Timmy takes a bite, he smiled smugly, and said.

"Can your cube beat that?"

"No, but can I have a sandwich too?" Carl asked.

_Narrator: Even though Jimmy created clones in the past, they were unstable, and had various minds on their own. While clones by AJ are designed to be loyal to the creator, thus AJ and his clones get the edge for versatility and great sandwich making skills._

Edge: AJ

_Narrator: Close Range combat gives Team AJ a turn with the Stink Bomb_

Chester walks up with a beaker filled with a noxious green liquid to a sealed glass room filled with a dummy.

"When we decide to pull pranks on people we don't like, AJ always make the best stink bombs." He said. "But for some odd reason every time he make the stink bombs, my special dip I made for them keeps disappearing."

Before the container is sealing up tight, Chester threw the stink bomb at the dummy just in the nick of time before closing the door. A noxious green fume engulfs the glass container, and despite of careful procedure, the slightest whiff managed to get through. Making everyone gagged and their eyes water.

In the background, people in Hazmat suits begin to quarantine the glass container. The Hazmat team concluded although it is smelly, the doses aren't to a lethal effect.

_Narrator: The toxic weapon doesn't convince Team Jimmy and even the experts agree that it is more of a distraction tactic rather than an actual weapon. Now they bring up the Hypno Ray to the arsenal._

Sheen waved his hand in front of the nose and said, "We've smelled worst stuff before like Carl's parents after Chili night."

He then reveals the Hypno Ray and brings in a random test subject. Sheen fires the Hypno Ray to the subject, leaving the victim in a state of trance. The Ultra Lord fan ordered him for a copy of the recent chapter of Ultra Lord. Once under hypnosis, the user now controls the victim to do anything the former wishes and desires. Even to commit suicide.

_Narrator: Edge gets to Jimmy Neutron for the possible lethality of the Hypno Ray._

Edge: Jimmy Neutron

_Narrator: Team AJ isn't daunted just yet, as they revealed videos Professor AJ from "The Big Superhero Wish" episode._

"AJ is already a smart guy," Timmy said showing the video. "With him being smarter than usual, plus telepathy and telekinesis. Well, that's simply overkill."

The video shows Professor AJ using telepathy to contact his colleagues, creating energy shields to block attacks, and using telekinesis to move various objects in the streets.

_Narrator: The pen is mightier than the sword but can it come close to beating pure strength?_

Carl then shows the video with them as the N-Men, with Jimmy turning orange, and finally turning him into the Hulk-like creature. Leaping high across the sky and tossing tanks around as if there were toys. Jimmy stamps across the desert where he was able to hold back Cindy, Libby, Carl, and Sheen despite outnumbering him four to one.

"We made fun of Jimmy for being orange at first, but now we learn not to anger him in his form." Carl said with a regrettable tone in his voice.

_Narrator: Classic decision of brains or brawn, neither side gets the edge._

Edge: Draw

_Narrator: Testing is now complete; it is time to who will be more superior. We now upload the data gathered from the tests into a battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studios. To avoid a lucky shot, we will simulate the battle a thousand times on a battle between to geniuses. _

_Arrogance Vs Calculated Planning_

(AJ is shown holding up a trophy in a science fair with a smug look on his face, then shows to Jimmy working feverishly in his lab to avoid any mistakes.)

_Brains Vs Brawn_

(A side split screen shows the two characters in their superhero forms)

_Genuine dedication for helping mankind or demanding money in return_

(Screen shows Jimmy making blueprints to cure diseases from the science lab, and cutting to AJ opening up a government check.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

The screen went all "Matrix" before revealing the Simulation.

Simulation: Jimmy Neutron is riding across to a city suburb in his hovercraft. He descends lower near the ground and checks to see where he is, until he spots a laser beam going straight at him. The kid from Retroville managed to jump out of the way, as the hovercraft explodes near him.

Jimmy managed to roll across the floor to avoid various debris, and looks at the direction where the attack came from. He then spots AJ with his Wristwatch Laser aiming straight at him, but Jimmy then returns fire with his Neutron Flare. Igniting AJ alive as he screams in agony, Jimmy get himself up to wipe the dust away. As he was about to sigh in relief, he heard another laser beam humming towards him. Thanks to his calculations, he dodged the attack in time, and sees another AJ…or more likely, him and his countless clone army. He fired off more of the Neutron Flare, setting fire on most of the clones but only to get quickly replaced from the ones that died.

The doppelgangers encircled at him and Jimmy knowing that he can't fight all of them straight ahead, decide it's better to run away. The chase itself didn't last long as more clones out of nowhere flanked Jimmy. As they drew closer towards him, he starts to sweat bullets wondering if it's his last day on earth, then suddenly, he got a Brain Blast, and pulls out the Hyper Cube. Jimmy opened the Hyper Cube and vacuum sucks all the clones into infinite space as the clones begin screaming for their artificial lives while desperately clinging onto various objects.

Jimmy manages to close the cube just in time before tucking them away for later disposal, as he begins to walk away. AJ snuck behind him and throws the Stink Bomb at Jimmy. The poor kid began to cough and gagging to his knees as he eyes watered. The odor began to burn his nostrils as AJ wore a gasmask and kicked him in the ground.

Knowing he's done for if he keeps hesitating, Jimmy took the risk by pulling off his Hypno Ray, and fires at AJ. But to dismay, he forgot that AJ is wearing a gasmask and blocking his view. But only then after that, it became a blessing in disguise since AJ also flinched away in fear, giving Jimmy an opening to fire off his Neutron Flare, finishing him once and for all.

As AJ dies from an agonizing burn, Jimmy begins to sigh in relief until he hears more footsteps marching. Jimmy reluctantly turns around as sees more clones marching along side one another, much to his horror. He tries to open fire, but ran out of ammo when he only heard a click instead. Thinking quickly, he tries to open the Hyper Cube but one of the clones saw this, and incinerates the cube away out of his hands.

While drawing closer to him, every clone in the block aimed his Laser Wristwatch towards Jimmy who then unleashes the Hypno Ray at every clone he can see. Then Jimmy orders everyone to kill each other and themselves, which they all did with gusto.

Unknown to him, the real AJ appears in his superhero alter ego, and using his telekinetic power to move the Hypno Ray out of his hands, and crushing it to uselessness. AJ then picks him up with his mind and proceeds to crush him under a force field. But unknown to AJ, Jimmy swallowed the N-men power before getting snatched when AJ underestimated him, and didn't even bother to read his mind. Believing that he'll win, became his downfall as Jimmy literally hulked out.

Hulk Jimmy's constant pounding became too much for AJ's force field and eventually broke through. Professor AJ tries to pick up various objects to throw at him, but Hulk Jimmy simply swatted them away as if they're mere bugs. Before he can get a chance to attack again or run away. Hulk Jimmy grabs the hover chair and knocked away Professor AJ to the ground as the chair crashes into a nearby house and explodes right after the muscular brute jumps off. AJ attempts to read his mind but only got a fist in the face instead, and with his last effort, AJ created an energy shield to block out his attacks.

In spite of this, Jimmy's increasing strength broke through as the shield fell apart, and was clutched tight in a bear hug. Finally, Jimmy then jumps high in the air before piledriving him to oblivion, causing a large crater that shook the city.

With his rival dead, Jimmy roars out victoriously in the sky….

Winner: Jimmy Neutron

_Narrator: Between the battles of the geniuses, Jimmy Neutron won most of the fights by a whopping 720 of the fights, with his N-Men power getting the most kills. It is also because of his more experience in dangerous situations and not as overconfident as his rival AJ, who only won by a measly 280, with his clones having the most kills._

Jimmy Neutron's kills:

Neutron Flare: 175

Hyper Cube: 20

Hypno Ray: 175

N-Men Power: 350

AJ's kills:

Wristwatch Laser: 65

Clones: 140

Stink bomb:0

Professor AJ mode: 75

Discussion at the fight club, the two team talk about the outcome.

"I always know Jimmy will win, he's a star of the series!" Sheen said breaking the fourth wall.

"Jimmy can always pull a way to win and save the day." Carl said with a satisfied smile.

"Bah, who needs computers?" Chester said with a disappointed tone. "I can always count on AJ for helping me out."

"Maybe I did underestimated Neutron." Timmy says. "Maybe he can help me with my work someday, with his permission of course."

Scene shows back to Hulk Jimmy roaring to the sky again

**The end!**

_Author's note: How was my first Deadliest Warrior parody everyone? If you're mad that your favorite character lost, then tough crap. I said it's for entertainment and I'll say it again._

_Anyone interested for me making more, and match up requests. Just comment away!_


	2. Bugs Bunny Vs Mickey Mouse

Deadliest Cartoon Character: Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I neither own any cartoon characters nor Spike TV's hit "The Deadliest Warrior" This is just for pure entertainment and not to be taken seriously…_

_Narrator: Bugs Bunny, Warner Bros' famous wisecracking trickster who nearly outwitted any opponent he came across._

(We see clips Bugs Bunny in his many episodes of outsmarting Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, and various other villains.)

_Narrator: Mickey Mouse, the world's most beloved and charming cartoon mouse by Disney. He is the most kind hearted ruler and the fiercest fighter known throughout the universe._

(We see Mickey Mouse wielding a Keyblade as he performs many acrobatic jumps and flips while slashing through several Heartless with ease.)

_These two famous rodents are mascots of the two greatest rivals in networking history since their debut._

(The screen shows a clip of the Mickey Mouse episode _Steamboat Willie_, and then cutaway to Bugs Bunny's official debut of _A Wild Hare._)

_Narrator: WHO…IS…THE…DEADLIEST?_

(The two characters fight each other for the battle of their lives)

_Narrator: They will resolve their rivalry once and for all, by a duel to the death with neither rules nor mercy. Who will win as the sole survivor? Who will ascend to the throne as the only true cartoon leader? Only on…_

**DEADLIEST CARTOON CHARACTER**

The scene now shows inside building where sounds of fighting are heard. Various weapons, targets, and animal carcasses are displayed along with some high tech looking gear.

_Narrator: Inside the fight club, the host of the fan fiction had gathered the contenders' friends and their inventions to test on who will win a match between Bugs Bunny _

Bugs' Stats:

First year of appearance: 1940

Episode name: A Wild Hare

Owned by: Time Warner

Creator: Tex Avery

_Narrator: And Mickey Mouse_

Mickey's Stats:

First year of appearance: 1928

Episode name: Steamboat Willie

Owned by: The Walt Disney Corporation

Creator: Walt Disney

Team Bugs Bunny is represented by two of his colleagues… rival Daffy Duck and Porky Pig.

For Team Mickey Mouse have its own counterparts, Donald Duck and Goofy.

_Narrator: The two teams are confident that star will win._

"There's a reason why the rabbit doesn't have a key shaped doo-hickey for a weapon of his own is that he simply doesn't need one." Daffy said confidently with his trademark lisp. "He'll wipe that cheese eater off the map!"

"You g-g-g-got to be p-p-p-p-pretty d-d-d-d-foolish to think he'll lose." Porky stuttered, agreeing to his narcissistic partner.

Back to Mickey's team, Donald's thick duck accent will be translated through an interpreter…

"Mickey losing that mischievous palooka?" Donald asked astounded. "That's a load of phooey"

"A-ha-yuck! Mickey's been always with us through and through, he'll definitely win!" Goofy…well guffawed.

_Narrator: The teams brought four of their friends' greatest weapons…_

Bugs' weapons:

Mallet

Double-barreled shotgun

Cream Pie

Cartoon Bomb

Mickey's weapons:

Keyblade

Fire Spell Attack

Reflect Spell Attack

Gravity Spell Attack

_Narrator: Testing for close range combat is the classic cartoon weapon, the mallet. A large hammer simply made out of wood, it is for using smashing watermelons, various carpentry, and basic comic antic._

Daffy pulls up the wooden weapon to some various targets, a watermelon, a nail on board, and a skull. All in the same testing table.

"Let's get dangerous!" He called out, referencing a certain 90s duck superhero show.

He smashes the fruit with ease as chunks of fruit and rind sprayed all over the set and into his black feathers, then he goes for the nails, and driven into one blow. Finally when he reached for the skull, it took several tries before eventually cracking.

"See? Good and dead." The black duck announced, while breathing heavily from both adrenaline and exhaustion.

But the cumbersome, heavy weapon doesn't impress Team Mickey.

"There's no way Mickey will just stand there like a lump and take a hit from that." Donald counteracted. To prove his point, he brings up the Keyblade named Kingdom Key. A sharp sword shaped like a common door-opening tool, this is a weapon designed for slaying Heartless.

The white duck walks pass his WB counterpart and walks up to a gel torso. Suddenly, within a second, Donald goes berserk on the target. Slashing and hacking away, as chunks of gel, fake blood, and fake organs bits flew across the room. Finally, he stopped, and the upper top of the torso toppled to the floor. Donald stabbed the remaining torso to prove his point.

_Narrator_: _Mickey's Keyblade is light enough to carry and provides deadly precision and damage at the same time. While the mallet is heavy to lumber around and it took several attempts to crack the skull. Edge goes to Mickey Mouse_

Edge: Mickey Mouse

_Narrator: Happily that they got the edge, the team will use the Fire attack for their Long Range. _

Goofy walks up to a wooden dummy with a Keyblade Spellbinder in his hand. Despite his disdain for weapons, he will accept using one for the sake of testing.

"Fire!" The humanoid dog called out, and the dummy burst into flames. The dummy continues to immolate as Goofy performs the spell several times, with the same results. However, on the last target, one of the sparks landed on Goofy's pants. Goofy didn't noticed at first, until he starts smelling.

"Hey, something smells great!" He said with his mouth watering. "Is something cooking some meat around here?"

"No, but the buns are…your buns!" Donald pointed out, as Goofy realized that his butt is burning. Goofy now did, what anyone else would do…by screaming his head off…

"YAH-HOO-HOO-HOOEY!" Goofy screaming out his trademark scream and ran in circles in panic.

Fortunately, the rival team felt merciful by pouring buckets of water on to him. It finally put the fire out and soaked Goofy at the same time.

"Thanks…" He sighed in relief and spitting the excess liquid out.

_Narrator:_ _Now, Team Bugs Bunny brought their answer to the Fire spell in the front line. The double-barreled shotgun_, _a weapon of choice for hunting rascally rabbits._

"Well, gwarsh, I might be wrong and all, but ain't that weapon fit more for Elmer Fudd?" Goofy asked to his rival next to him while scratching his head.

"True, but B-b-b-bugs faced this weapon s-s-s-several times." Porky replied with a nod. "In fact, h-h-he even c-c-c-confiscated some of it for h-h-h-himself."

Porky walked into a firing range with several dummies, each filled with fake blood. Then at the final countdown the pig open fired both shells at once. Shotgun pellets struck the three dummies and fake blood oozed to the floor. But Porky isn't finished; he reloaded the shotgun, and fired off one round at a time at two targets. Both of the targets starting to "bleed."

_Narrator: The Doubled Barreled shotgun proves devastating results over several targets while in spite that Fire can be performed several times, over the slower reloading time of the shotgun. Fire can only hit one target at a time. _

Edge: Bugs Bunny

_Narrator: Next is Mid Range, with Team Bugs Bunny bringing a Cream Pie. This delicious dessert got famous for many comedic routines in many cartoons, as well as satisfying a person's sweet tooth._

"This isn't just for dessert pal." Daffy informing the reader, "In fact, this is a weapon that we cartoons fight with all the time to distract, run away, or even go for the kill."

He walks up to a dummy with Bugs Bunny's face in it, and the mallard proceeds to hurl the pastry at the target. The pie landed with precise accuracy with a definitive splat.

"Tada!" Daffy said proudly as he bowed, and then suddenly another pie flew from off screen, and hits him in the face.

"Just my luck…" He mutters angrily, while whipping away the excess pie. Then he tasted some of it. "Mmm, banana cream!"

_Narrator: Pie doesn't offer any kills but finishing off from a meal according to Team Mickey. With them, they have the Reflect spell, which is a defensive spell that can protect and damages any attack from the user._

"Heh, pies are meant for eating, not for fighting!" Donald scoffed. "We have an actual weapon unlike these knock-offs."

He walks in the middle of the firing range where a couple of tennis ball launchers fired at the duck. He cast the spell with a wave of his staff and the spell took effect as the projectiles froze in midair by the field of energy. Then it fired back at the launchers, destroying them all in the process.

_Narrator: Edge gets to Mickey Mouse for the offensive and defensive capabilities of the Reflect spell._

Edge: Mickey Mouse

_Narrator: Finally, for the special weapons. Team Mickey has a devastating spell simply called Gravity. It creates a miniature black hole that will suck any enemy in and crushes with its massive weight._

Goofy walks up with the Spellbinder Keyblade walks to a stand with a cow carcass hanging by a hook. He instantly casts Gravity and a black hole appeared on top on the carcass and engulfs its in the darkness as sounds of bones breaking are heard. When it finally dissipates, the carcass was compressed into a mound of meat and broken bones. He casts it again, this time it has completely been flatten. Goofy attempts for a third time, but now just ran out of mana to continue.

_Narrator: Team Bugs Bunny had more one weapon in their arsenal for the special weapons. The classic Cartoon Bomb, a black ball filled with explosives, and a fuse on top. The weapon blows its victims to kingdom come._

Porky Pig walks inside to a Plexiglas room with the cartoon bomb, he lights it up, and throws it at the nearby cow carcass. As Porky leaves the room, the bomb detonated in time. When the smoke cleared, shards of shrapnel struck the flesh, and into the bone. Some of the fat even got burned to a crisp. But the porcine fellow isn't finished, he lit two more bombs, and throws at the already downed slab of meat. An even larger explosion occurred, and as the smoke cleared, left a smoldering pile of burnt meat.

_Narrator: By the pure destruction of the Cartoon Bomb, it now has the edge compared to the mana draining Gravity Spell._

Edge: Bugs Bunny

_Narrator: Testing is now complete; it is time to who is more superior. We now upload the data gathered from the tests into a battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studios. To avoid a lucky shot, we will simulate the battle a thousand times on a battle between to geniuses. _

_Cruel Trickery Vs Kindheartedness _

(We show a movie clip of Bugs Bunny outsmarting Elmer Fudd by throwing a pie into his face. Meanwhile, Mickey Mouse is at his throne talking to his subjects with a kind smile with the subjects smiling at him back.)

_Bravery Vs Sneaky Tactics_

(The mouse warrior is seen charging towards various Heartless with valor, and then shows the rabbit sneaking up behind Yosemite Sam, and kicking him in the butt.)

_Carrots or Cheese_

(Bugs Bunny is taking a mighty bite of his carrot and Mickey Mouse is at a dining table with some fine cheese.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

The screen went all "Matrix" before revealing the Simulation.

Simulation: Bugs Bunny is came out of his hole to start in a beautiful day, as he took a bite of his carrot he sees someone charging towards him. The rabbit looked on curiously as the runner gotten closer to be Mickey Mouse in his Kingdom Hearts persona. He then asked the mouse…

"Eh, what's up doc?"

"Are you working for Pete and the others?" Mickey asked suspiciously while pointing his Keyblade towards the carrot-munching smart aleck.

"What on Earth are you talking about Mac?" the confused bunny said raising his eyebrow.

"If you're not going to answer, then I'm afraid that I'll have to defeat you!" Mickey said and instantly swipes his blade onto the rabbit. Bugs was able to dodge just in time as he said…

"Of course you know this means war…"

Bugs Bunny whips out his mallet and hits Mickey, but the mouse sidesteps away in time, and slashes Bugs in the shoulder. The rabbit looks at his gash, and realizing that Mickey's no ordinary opponent. So, he hits the hole to retreat. However, Mickey isn't finished and casts fire into the hole to flush him out.

Meanwhile, Bugs sneaks by burrowing behind Mickey, and pops out with the double-barreled shotgun. Mickey caught wind of this, and back flips in the air to avoid Bugs' shots. As Bugs quickly reloads and fires again, Mickey automatically casts reflect, leaving himself safe. The buckshot fires back at Bugs, who immediately ducks away but at the cost of the shotgun destroyed by the flying shot in the process.

Bugs attempts to hit him head on by popping up from a different burrow, and charges with his mallet. Mickey was able to block in time, but the force of Bugs' hidden strength sent the mouse sliding under his feet. The king retaliates by kicking him in the stomach, causing the trickster to stumble backward, and Mickey begins to swing mercilessly with his Keyblade. However, Bugs is also swift and ducks most the swipes in time, while blocking most in the process. Then, returns with a barrage of mallet swings at the Mouse. With one of them, finally connects the mouse, and sending him flying.

Mickey landed on his feet safely, and tosses his Keyblade like a boomerang, surprising the rabbit. Bugs begin to burrow again for safety, but Mickey then casts Gravity into the hole, hopefully crushing the rabbit. The entire underground collapsed by the weight, and Mickey jumped into a tree for safety. Thinking that it's over, Mickey jumped off after the spell ended, and begins to walk away. He stopped to find that his opponent is standing next to him, realizing that he escaped just in time.

Not holding back anymore, Mickey leaps towards the rabbit. But at the last second, Bugs threw a pie into Mickey's face, and causing the mouse king to crash behind him. Mickey manages to wipe the cream off his face, and sees his opponent is running away. Bugs sees that Mickey is catching up to him, and throws couple of more pies into him. This time, Mickey is prepared as he dodged some of them, slashed most of them, and cast reflect again on the rest to fire back at the thrower.

Most of the flying pies missed Bugs, but one of them hits him on the face. Bugs try to wipe it away quickly, but Mickey shoulder dashed him, and pinning him in the ground in the process. The long eared trickster desperately tries to hold him back, avoiding to get stabbed. He reaches for the mallet in time, and hits Mickey in the ribs sending him flying. Mickey tries to regain his composure and attempts to get up, but sees Bugs running towards him. So, he attempts to cast fire but the rabbit caught wind, dodged the blasts, and threw his mallet at his hand.

The flying hammer not only knocked the weapon out of Mickey's hand, but breaking it too. Mickey tries to get up, but got kicked in the process. Suddenly, he heard a hissing sound, and sees Bugs Bunny with the cartoon bomb.

"Here's a present for you bub!" He said with a sinister smirk while throwing it into Mickey's face with finishing off with... "Ain't I a stinker?"

Mickey too injured and panicked to throw away, can only watch the fuse slowly burning away, and the rabbit running away. When Bugs finally running into a safe distance, he stops, and sees a large explosion erupts throughout the forest with a large BOOM! Bugs Bunny now roars victoriously through the air

Winner: Bugs Bunny

_Narrator: One of the closest matches ever, Bugs Bunny barely won with 550 of the kills with the cartoon bomb in the lead, and Mickey Mouse got a close second with 450 with his Keyblade. The rabbit's experience of tricking and outwitting his foes was too much for the ruler of Disney. Who the latter's experience as a trickster dimmed over in compared to his long eared rival._

Bugs Bunny's kills: 550

Mallet: 100

Double-barreled shotgun: 150

Cream Pie: 50

Cartoon Bomb: 250

Mickey Mouse's kills: 450

Keyblade: 250

Fire: 50

Reflect: 60

Gravity: 90

Discussion at the fight club, the two team talk about the outcome.

"What I tell ya? They're despicable to think the rabbit will lose!" Daffy said smugly. "Nice guys finish last."

"The Kingdom H-h-h-hearts fans will surely be p-p-p-p-displeased." Porky said. "B-b-b-but the test doesn't lie."

"Ahh, phooey!" Said the disgruntled Donald. "Mickey is someone we always can count on, not some carrot eating knock-off."

"Gwarsh, I didn't even thought that Bugs could win." Goofy says bewilderedly.

Scene then shows Bugs munching a carrot in satisfaction.

The end!

Author's note: If you're mad that your favorite character lost, then tough crap. I said it's for entertainment and I'll repeat it again and again.

Anyone interested for me making more fight requests. Just comment away! Criticisms are accepted as long as they are CONSTRUCTIVE. Meaning tell me why you don't like about it (But if you're a fan and still got pissed despite the warnings earlier, then you're an idiot.) or what I need to improve.


	3. Vicky Vs Cree

Deadliest Cartoon Character: Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I neither own any cartoon characters nor Spike TV's hit "The Deadliest Warrior" This is just for pure entertainment and not to be taken seriously…_

_Author's Note: PS, I learned a mistake that rabbits are lagomorphs, not rodents…and everyone's request will be coming soon!_

_Narrator: Vicky the Babysitter, also known as a fire-breathing dragon in a pair of black jeans. A harmless babysitter in the eyes of the adults in the town of Dimmsdale, but to the children she is scarier than the Boogeyman, Charles Manson, and Rush Limbaugh combined._

(A certain Redhead 16-year-old girl is seen chasing several children in a park with a chainsaw while cackling manically at the same time.)

_Narrator: Cree Lincoln, a teenager who is fiercely loyal to Father, and one of the greatest traitors to the Kids Next Door organization. One of the finest Teen Ninjas the adults have to offer, she strikes terror into heart and souls of children._

(An African American teenager in samurai like armor is fighting off several preteens with various martial arts techniques while disabling all of them with ease.)

_The two teenage girls are one of the most dangerous villains in their own series, their cruelty and evil knows no bounds._

(A split screen shows the two said girls laughing evilly over the horizon_._)

_Narrator: WHO…IS…THE…DEADLIEST?_

(Cree and Vicky clash together in a middle of a park clashing their weapons together in hopes to disarm one first before her.)

_Narrator: What will happen in the greatest catfight known to man? With no rules…no mercy…only on…_

**DEADLIEST CARTOON CHARACTER**

The scene now shows inside building where sounds of fighting are heard. Various weapons, targets, and animal carcasses are displayed along with some high tech looking gear.

_Narrator: Inside the fight club, the host of the fan fiction had gathered the contenders' friends and their inventions to test on who will win a match between Vicky The Babysitter _

Vicky's Stats:

First year of appearance: September 4, 1998

Episode name: The Fairly Odd Parents (Pilot)

Owned by: Nickelodeon and Frederator Studios.

Creator: Butch Hartman

Voice Actress: Grey DeLisle

_Narrator: And Cree Lincoln_

Cree's Stats:

First year of appearance: October 17, 2003

Episode name: Operation: SUPPORT

Owned by: Cartoon Network and Curious Pictures

Creator: Tom Warburton

Voice Actress: Cree Summer

The girls has both in common aside from their villainy, is the hated rivalry of their own little sisters. After all, who knows more than their family and victims? As the old saying goes, blood is thicker than water.

Team Vicky is represented by two of her victims… her little sister Tootie and her favorite twerp Timmy.

For Team Cree have has her own sibling, Abigail Lincoln and Hoagie Gilligan Jr. Also known as Numbers 5 and 2.

_Narrator: The two teams are confident that one girl is worse than the other._

"I live with my sister 24/7, and you don't have to a scientist to know what is like to live with a possible psychopath." The pigtailed girl explains.

"She's 'Icky with a V' and she doesn't need some armor to torture us." Timmy added, hoping to makeup with his loss from the last fight.

Back to Cree's team, the duo is skeptical of Vicky winning over Cree.

"They said to 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer' and they're not kidding when your said enemy is also your sister." Number Five said. "Number Five knows her sister like a back of her hand, she is one of the most dangerous Teen Ninjas in Father's arsenal."

"I still like Cree but I think Vicky's not bad either." Number Two said with a swooned tone, only to turn his back and witness Abigail glaring towards him. "I mean there's no way a common babysitter like her can lose a cold hearted minion of Father!"

_Narrator: The teams confiscated five of their enemies' greatest weapons…_

Vicky's weapons:

Fire Axe

Chainsaw

Nail Gun

Flamethrower

Cattle Prod

Cree's weapons:

Wrist Laser

Ninja Staff and Net

Staff Laser

Jet Boots

Chicken Pox Virus

_Narrator: Testing for close range combat is the Fire Axe, a perfect balance of lightweight traveling and full strength devastation. Once used to save lives by cutting through doors, it is now used to the exact opposite through living targets._

Tootie walks up to a gel torso carrying the said weapon to a stand with two gel torsos.

"Now you're about to see what it's like to live with someone like her." She said as she raised her weapon overhead, and in less than a second. Tootie cleaved the head through cleanly, various gel bit sprayed across the testing area. The girl walks up to the second torso and chops the torso halfway though, it lodged deep into the chest cavity before the braced girl can pull it free. Finally, she finishes it off with a quick lop at the neck, instantly decapitating the gel head.

_Narrator: Team Cree is undaunted by the simple savagery of the Fire Axe. They retaliate with the hidden Wrist Laser, easily concealed within the BRA. Teen Ninjas can shoot 2x4 weapons off of KND members, and in rare cases shooting at kids themselves._

"Cree's too smart just to stand there and get hit like a sitting duck." Abby retorted, "Number Five forget to warn ya'll that Cree knows every fighting technique of the Kids Next Door.

To proof this, she walks into a firing range with the KND modified version of the weapon. She then stands a few yards away from the target which is child-sized dummy dressed like a standard KND soldier complete with a SPLANKER, and at the end of the countdown. Number Five fires off the weapon off the dummy's hands. Then she fires again into the dummy's torso, burning the faux torso through. The laser went through the armor and replaced it a large hole in the middle, Abby then walks into the range and peeks through the hole as proof.

_Narrator_: _Although the axe can deliver fatal blows, the wrist laser can perform the several times the destruction without the danger of getting close to the target._

Edge: Cree

_Narrator: Happily that they got the edge, the winning team will use another easily concealed weapon, the expandable Ninja Staff and Net for their Mid Range. A standard issue of the Teen Ninjas, it is handy for capturing escaping Kids Next Door agents while delivering AND defending many blows._

"We've been caught plenty of times while facing the teenagers, and we were able to confiscate this nifty weapon they used!" Hoagie said excitedly as he begins to demonstrate from walking to the testing area filled with various clay pots and a single gel torso that surrounds the portly young pilot.

Number Two simply swung the weapon like a mere baseball bat, but despite his lack of grace or coordination, he managed to shatter all the clay pots with surprising speed. He then fires the net at the gel torso that stood a yard away from him; the then pulls the captured torso to the ground, and drags it towards him. Hoagie harpoons the torso multiple times before it "died."

_Narrator:_ _Now, Team Vicky brings a weapon that should only belong in a horror film, all known as the chainsaw, a favored weapon of Leatherface, lumberjacks, and a certain babysitter._

"Nice trick if you want to play Piñata in a party." Timmy said sarcastically and revs the monstrous power tool. The bucktoothed boy's targets are two pig carcasses hanging by a hook. He is so confident that he asked that the chainsaw should also be tested on the staff's net. The pink hat-wearing boy starts to wear his safety goggles, as he begins the preparations.

The test begins with the chainsaw's mighty roar, and saws one pig carcass through the rib cage. Chunks of meat and bone fly across the testing area while staining Timmy's goggles. Finally the lower half of the carcass fell to the floor with a wet plop, and proceeds with another carcass. He swings the chainsaw overhead from the pig's skull, and with the same result. But Timmy's not finished, just as he promised he walks up to the net hung up like a giant spider web, and manages to saw through the tough fibers.

_Narrator: The Chainsaw shows that it can simply cut through the net and the user like butter, and the shear killing power of the weapon gives Vicky the edge._

Edge: Vicky

_Narrator: Next is Long Range, with Team Vicky bringing the Nail Gun to the fight. Too young too afford a gun herself, Vicky simply buys the next best thing in her local hardware store. _

"Here's how Vicky practices her aim." Timmy said as he loads a clip of nails into a clip.

Timmy walks to the firing range and fires at several wooden targets; the nails did hit the mark but couldn't go through the wood. Then he goes on to test it on a gel head, at several yards away but keeps missing the target. Finally, it took several nails close range to give it a lethal kill.

_Narrator: Hoagie decides to teach Timmy a lesson in marksmanship with the Staff Laser. _

"I would say that Timmy couldn't hit a broad side of a barn, but there's no barn!" Hoagie giggled at his own lame joke. Number Five returned the favor by slapping him in the back of the head, making him to go back the firing range.

Number Two aims the staff like a rifle to the wooden targets and fired, after glowing green for a few seconds, the wooden targets were incinerated into smoldering ashes. Then he fired at the gel head and accomplishes what Timmy couldn't…hitting his target a few yards away, the result begins with heads 'asploding.

_Narrator: Edge gets to Cree for the laser's longer range and stopping power._

Edge: Cree

_Narrator: Finally, for the special weapons. Both teams brought two surprises in the arsenal of the teenage torturers. Team Cree brings the Chicken Pox virus and the Jet Boots, while Team Vicky retaliates with the Flamethrower and the Cattle Prod._

Abby and Tootie shows up outside with the Jet Boots and Flamethrower respectively. While still inside the studio Hoagie and Timmy prepares their own with the Cattle Prod and the Chicken Pox Virus.

"Number Five is going to show that these boots aren't just made for flying." Number Five announced, as she sets the boots for take off.

She blasts off to the sky, flying as high as the eye can see, and zipping through various heights before hovering lower to the ground. But Abigail isn't finished as she flies near to a plastic dummy and kicks it with the jet boots. The heat from the exhaust pipe melts the wax off the face. Leaving a grisly imagination to what will happen to an actual face.

Meanwhile, Hoagie enters a Plexiglas chamber wearing a HAZMAT suit holding a vial containing a viscous liquid. Inside is an intern who is "volunteering" for the test.

"This version of Chicken Pox is far different from anyone has suffered from." He said, before throwing the said vial in the floor.

The gassy cloud engulfs the chamber before eventually dissipating. After it cleared, the crew stared in shock as they realized that actual chicken heads had sprouted from the intern's face! The poor intern simply groaned and scratched as the "Chickens" clucked away…

_Narrator: But the weapons Cree has to offer impressed neither Timmy nor Tootie._

"I thought the show is called 'Deadliest Cartoon Character' not 'Deadliest Coward'," Tootie taunted her rival as she preps up the Flamethrower, which is cleverly disguised and modified as a hairdryer.

The glasses donning girl walks up to a cave filled with various pig carcasses and furniture before firing the flames inside the cave. Fire immolates the pigs and incinerated the furniture into cinders.

"BBQ anyone?" Tootie asked.

At the same time, Timmy prepares the Cattle Prod, a Taser with an extra "shock" to it.

"Vicky probably got chicken pox before, and it'll probably have no effect on her." Timmy said. "But this cattle prod will effect anyone!"

To prove his point, he walks up to a cow carcass, and instantly zaps the hunk of beef. Electrocuting it to the point it actually cooks the flesh. After finishing, the carcass is now sizzling and charred, leaving a rather delicious smell.

"Rare, Medium, or Well-Done?" Timmy asked.

_Narrator: The Jet Boots and the Chicken Pox proved to be powerful weapons, but both are simply meant for distractions and escaping. While the Flamethrower and the Cattle Prod gives more killing power gives Vicky the edge._

Edge: Vicky

_Narrator: Testing is now complete; it is time to who is more superior. We now upload the data gathered from the tests into a battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studios. To avoid a lucky shot, we will simulate the battle a thousand times on a battle between the teen terrors._

_Who will come to the top? Savagery Vs Discipline…Stealth Vs Straight Forward…Focus Vs Brutality…_

(Screen shows Vicky chasing several children while swinging her axe wildly, to giving Tootie a swirly in a toilet, and "playing catch" with a nail gun. For Cree it shows here instructing the new ninja recruits various martial arts, sneaking inside a KND tree house to take out a soldier sleeping on a job, and ends by showing her easily taking down many KND agents barehanded.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

Simulation: Vicky shows her walking around a park, wondering what to do for her next victim. Meanwhile, Cree is watching her from a tree, believing to be a teenage traitor. She drops down and begins to creep up to Vicky with the staff raised to her head, ready to strike. But the babysitter caught wind of this and brandishes her fire axe, (Thanks to Cartoon Physics) blocking the attempted stab. The two girls caught in a clinching struggle before Cree kicks her in the stomach, and then she performs several back flips away from her. She chases the ninja swinging away manically, attempting to lunge at the ninja where the latter simply blocked with her staff and dodging away.

Once she gained enough distance, Cree then fires her wrist laser, shooting off the axe off from Vicky's hand. With the tables turned, Vicky retreated to the parking as Cree flew after her. The babysitter managed to run to her car to gather her remaining weapons. She spots the flying assassin and fires her nail gun, attempting to shoot her down. The ninja simply dodged the projectiles before swooping down like a falcon for a kill, but Vicky opened one of her car doors in time, and hits Cree in the face. Lying perfectly still, Vicky peers down to check on the immobile ninja, who then suddenly spring came to life, and fired her net at her.

The babysitter got tangled and struggled while Cree dragged her closer for the kill, until Vicky managed to aim her nail gun again. This time, Cree spotted this and both girls fired at the same time. The result destroyed both the nail gun and the wrist laser to uselessness. Finally freeing herself from the net, Vicky grabs her chainsaw and revs up the motor to charge at her attacker.

Cree responded by twirling her staff and charged forward, with the assassin's graceful twirling distracts the maniacal maniac while dodging the spinning blades, and finally hitting her couple of times in the chest. Though out winded, Vicky regained her composure, and jumps in the air while swinging the weapon overhead with all her might. Despite being able to dodge the attack, Cree received a large yet narrow cut on her chest that was able to cut through her BRA. She finally got the upper hand when Vicky grew exhausted from the constant swinging. Then she fires the staff laser twice, one destroying the chainsaw, and the other shot the sitter in the thighs. Vicky collaped and snarled in both pain and anger as Cree goes in for the kill.

She then regained her senses and reaches for her cattle prod, and strikes Cree, electrocuting her under high voltage while shrieking in agony. Her body became smoking and charred as she fell to the ground. Thinking that she's dead, Vicky starts her car, and drives off as if nothing happens. A few blocks later, she saw something under her rearview mirror chasing after her. To her surprise, it was Cree still alive and attending to kill while flying in after her. When Vicky looked back in front of her windshield, Cree was already in front of her. Blocking her view, she crashed into a nearby tree.

Badly injured, she fell out of her seat breathing heavily as her equally injured rival hovered closely to finish her once and for all. Vicky can only look with hatred at her opponent while sitting against the wrecked vehicle.

"First, I'm giving your arms a free tan with my boots, then, I'm going to give you the worst case of chicken pox you had in your life, and finally, I'll burn the rest of your ugly face off!" Cree said with a threatening smirk and kept her word by stomping on Vicky's arms, cooking it to second-degree buns. When satisfied she threw the vial at the babysitter.

But when the biological agent smoke cleared, Vicky appeared without any symptoms of the chicken pox, and a flamethrower in her hands. Cree stared dumbfouned as Vicky said…

"First of all, I already got chicken pox, and second, you should've finished me off instead of talking how you're going to finish me off!"

Vicky pulled the trigger and sets Cree on a stream of fire as the latter continues to scream while the flame continues to burn before finally hitting the floor dead. With victory on her hand, Vicky can't help but cackle through the skies before picking herself up to tend to her wounds.

Winner: Vicky

_Narrator: Vicky leads the victory with 600-recorded kills with the Flamethrower leading the way; while Cree's kill record are only 400 with the Staff. Vicky won because she is dangerous not only towards children but everyone who crosses her path. Even the feared alien warrior princess Mandie fell before her. While Cree rarely fought non-child enemies, let alone in direct combat, and her cockiness led to her downfall._

Vicky's kills: 600

Fire Axe: 119

Chainsaw: 150

Nail Gun: 141

Flamethrower: 170

Cattle Prod: 20

Cree's kills: 400

Wrist Laser: 84

Ninja Staff and Net: 109

Staff Laser: 106

Jet Boots: 84

Chicken Pox Virus: 17

Discussion at the fight club, the two sisters talk about the outcome.

"I shouldn't be rooting for my sister, but Vicky works by herself, and for herself only." Tootie announced. "That's what makes her deadly and efficient."

"I got to admit, Vicky is one crazy psycho." Abigal said with an impressed nod. "But Cree's still smart enough to kill her in her sleep instead, still I hate to see the two team up…"

_Scene then shows Vicky cackling through the skies…_

_The end!_

_Author's note: If you're mad that your favorite character lost, then tough crap. I said it's for entertainment and I'll repeat it again and again._

_Anyone interested for me making more fight requests. Just comment away! Criticisms are accepted as long as they are CONSTRUCTIVE. Meaning tell me why you don't like about it (But if you're a fan and still got pissed despite the warnings earlier, then you're an idiot.) or what I need to improve._


	4. Juniper Lee Vs Kim Possible

Deadliest Cartoon Character: Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I neither own any cartoon characters nor Spike TV's hit "The Deadliest Warrior" This is just for pure entertainment and not to be taken seriously…_

_Narrator: Juniper Lee, also known as the Te Xuan Ze. Sole Guardian of the human world and the magic world, bringing balance to both worlds, and surviving a life as an 11 year old._

(A Chinese American girl is fighting off several monsters and demons at once, despite her small stature, she easily defeats them all with her bare hands after skillfully dodging and weaving.)

_Narrator: Kim Possible, the girl who can do anything. World's greatest teen super spy for hire, straight A student, and captain of the cheerleader squad. Saving the world for the good of mankind _

(A certain Redhead 18-year-old super spy is seen dodging various booby traps and defeating several henchmen at once)

_The two girls are known to be the saviors of their own worlds; but the title only has room for one…_

(Kim Possible is shown fighting off Shego and then shows Juniper Lee learning magic from her grandmother)

_Narrator: WHO…IS…THE…DEADLIEST?_

(The teenager and the preteen fight off in a brutal all out marital arts brawl, both delivering powerful blows one another_._)

_Narrator: What will happen in the greatest female battle known to fandom? With no rules…no mercy…only on…_

**DEADLIEST CARTOON CHARACTER**

The scene now shows inside building where sounds of fighting are heard. Various weapons, targets, and animal carcasses are displayed along with some high tech looking gear.

_Narrator: Inside the fight club, the host of the fan fiction had gathered the contenders' friends, family, and their weapons to test on who will win a match between Juniper Lee_

Juniper's Stats:

First year of appearance: May 20, 2005

Episode name: "It's Your Party and I'll Whine If I Have To"

Owned by: Cartoon Network

Creator: Judd Winick

Voice Actress: Lara Jill Miller

_Narrator: And Kim Possible_

Kim's Stats:

First year of appearance: June 7, 2002

Episode name: "Crush"

Owned by: Disney Channel

Creator: Bob Schooley and Bob McCorkle

Voice Actress: Christy Carlson Romano

_Narrator: The two teams are confident that their heroine will defeat one another._

Representing Team Lee is none other than June's family, her little brother Ray-Ray, her dog and assistant Monroe, and her grandmother Jasmine. Also known as Ah-Mah.

"June can totally kick her butt!" Ray-Ray said excitedly. "June fought monsters and demons, and Kim only fought ninja monkeys and blue people!"

"She is a fine and well trained lassie," Monroe said. "No mere cheerleader can defeat her!"

"Being a Te-Xuan-Ze is not only a privilege, but sole protector of existence itself." Jasmine added. "The role isn't to be taken lightly."

For Team Possible, there's her sidekick/best friend/ boyfriend Ron Stoppable, his pet naked mole rat Rufus, and Wade Load, child prodigy and supplier of many gadgets and information Kim needs on her missions.

"KP will definitely win the fight!" Ron said with a confident tone. "She's the girl who can do anything, and her losing is totally bogus!"

"Bogus!" Rufus chattered.

"My calculations and the fine-tuning on the simulation computer already tells us that Kim will win the battle." Wade informed. "Juniper is a great fighter, is just that Kim's greater."

_Narrator: The teams collected the girls' favorite weapons…_

Kim's weapons:

Laser Lipstick

Lip Gloss

Grapple Gun

Power Suit

Juniper's weapons:

Emei Piercers

Staff and Hook Swords

Whip Chain

Amulet

_Narrator: Testing first for long range is the Grapple Gun. A gas propelled hair dryer, now customized to shoot off a grappling hook and carry the shooter to a new height._

Ron walks up to a gel torso target with the weapon at the ready, Ron aims the weapon, and fires. Then his pants came off…and worse, missed the target.

"Darn it, not again!" He moaned.

After reloading and retrieving his pants, he fired again this time hitting the target square in the chest toppling it over. The team checked and sees the rib cages left nasty cracks and bruises. But no open wounds.

"The victim will be knocked out of his feet but the wounds aren't fatal enough for an actual kill." Dr. Dorian concluded. "This leaves the victim unconscious and be hurt, but still alive."

Wade then explains that the environment surrounding the opponent can prove to be fatal as well. To prove this, he asked Ron to aim a concrete wall beside the new torso. The blonde smart aleck fires again, and tugs the wall with all his might. A chunk of concrete fell over the torso, but when the team checks on the torso, still no fatal injuries.

_Narrator: The grapple guns didn't leave much of an impression to Team Lee._

Jasmine walks up to the testing area filled with five glass orbs, despite her age, she shown signs of vitality while swinging the weapon with grace and precision.

"I've been teaching my granddaughter the weapons of our ancient ancestors recently." The elderly woman said. "I'll show you one of her favorites…"

Ah-Mah swung her chain like a cowboy with a lasso; the revolutions caused the air around her to hum like a fan as she hopped and ducked across the flying chain. Finally at the right momentum, she destroyed all the orbs in a single swing. Fake blood spilled to the floor to prove her point.

_Narrator_: _Although the Grappling Gun has longer range than the chain whip, the former serves more as a distraction and the latter gets the edge for actually able to kill the targets. _

Edge: Juniper Lee

_Narrator: Determined to win this round, team possible brought a secret biological weapon. The Lip Gloss, this seemingly harmless makeup hides a stinking surprise._

Wade walks a compressed Plexiglas chamber filled with plants while wearing a gas mask. In his hand, holds a jar of lip-gloss.

"You're possibly wondering how bad it can be." Wade said to the curious viewers, "Well you're about to find out."

Wade opens up the lid and noxious green gas seeps out, eventually the green clouds of stench cover the whole room. After it finally cleared, all the plants had shriveled up, and died.

_Narrator:_ _Now, Team Juniper brings two of their own weapons to the party, the wooden staff and the twin Hook Swords. The stinky weapon impresses no one at all_

"You should see me after eating Indian food." Monroe laughed out. "We're about to show you true danger!"

"Get ready ya'll, this is going to be a real show stopper." Ray-Ray grinned maliciously as he twirled his staff around.

His targets are several clay pots as he spins around his head at high speed, and in an instant, shattered all the pots in perfect precision.

Now, it's Ah-Mah's turn to shine as he prepares the Hook Swords. She walks up to the pig carcass, and cleanly hacks the pig away. Pieces of meat flies into the air as the pig eventually fell apart with a wet plop. But she isn't finished yet, she walks up to another carcass as she connects the swords for a longer range, and she spun the blades over her head. With one clean swoop, the pig's belly is left with a deep cut as entrails spilled to the floor.

"It makes butchering much easier on the farm." Jasmine said with a grandmotherly smile.

The weapon surprises even Team Possible, Ron stared with his mouth wide open with Rufus hid into his owner's pocket while squeaking in fear, and Wade is very impressed while providing scans and optics.

_Narrator: The two weapons shown more killing power alone, but together they annihilated the lip-gloss for the edge on Mid Range._

Edge: Juniper Lee

_Narrator: Next is Close Range, with the Laser Lipstick another harmless looking device that hides a secret._

Wade walks up to a shooting range and points the weapon at a nearby skull. Wade turns it on as powerful beam shot through the skill, leaving it a burning hole.

"That'll be a nasty mistake if she's in a rush and picks the wrong one." Wade grimly warned.

_Narrator: Ray-Ray gives his definition of close encounter with the Emei Piercers. Pair of sharpens metal rods design to confuse and dazing the opponent before delivering a final blow._

Ray-Ray walks up to a gel torso, twirling the piercers as if they were drumsticks. He sinisterly smiles as he rapidly stabs the head inside out. Chunks of face fly off, literally defacing the skull. To finish it off the demonstration, the younger brother gouges the eyes off as the piece of resistance. The complete annihilation of the face shows the pure speed, accuracy, and killing potential of the metal sticks.

"The operation is complete." Ray-Ray said with an evil giggle.

_Narrator: The difficulty deciding to pick the devastation of the piercers or the range of the lipstick. Edge got both sides into a tie…with both weapons shows no true advantage over another_

Edge: Draw

_Narrator: Finally, for the special weapons. Both teams brought a surprise in the arsenal of the heroines. Team June brings the Amulet, while Team Kim returns the favor with the Battle Suit._

"This particular amulet we picked is called 'The Eye of the Gorgon'." Monroe explains as he shows a shining green gemstone similar to an emerald, only darker in color and glowing furiously. "The specialty of this beauty is to turn its targets to stone."

To show this, Ah-Mah (Who can actually holds the stone, and too dangerous for Ray-Ray) walks up to a magical cage containing a Heartless Soldier. The creature spots Jasmine with its cold, yellow eyes, and proceeds to charge at the elderly woman. Ah-Mah, with lighting speed shoots the monster with the amulet releasing a glowing, green beam of light. And the result shows the Heartless turned to stone in mid pose, Jasmine walks up to the statue, and shatters it into gravel.

_Narrator: But the weapon Team Possible bought is the experimental Battle Suit. Made of synthetic fabrics and Nano machines, the wearer quicker, agile, stronger, create force fields, and more resilient. _

"The Battle Suit is my pride and joy," Wade said with a smile. "Kim will and did turn into a living weapon."

Ron came into the field wearing the said suit. The testing area resembles a standard obstacle course, then after activating the suit. The young man dashed across the field, running faster than any Olympic athlete ever run, jumping over obstacles with ease, and climbing up quicker than a cat. Then, at the strength testing, Ron was able to punch through a cow's spine that is thicker than a human's. Then he kicks through a brick wall, shattering it like glass. He finally finishes it off by lifting a 180-pound barbell as if it's a feather, and throws it through another brick wall. Leaving it a large, gaping hole as a result. The grand finale is when Ron enters the firing range as the force field is turned on, several people with rubber bullet guns opened fire towards Ron. But bullets simply bounced off harmlessly off of him; luckily the shooters are wearing armor as the projectiles deflected.

_Narrator: The suit's ability to increase the wearer more powerful than of an Olympic sports star gave them the final edge in Special Weapons_

Edge: Kim Possible

_Narrator: Testing is now complete; it is time to who is more superior. We now upload the data gathered from the tests into a battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studios and improved by Wade himself. To avoid a lucky shot, we will simulate the battle a thousand times on a showdown between the two girls._

_Who will come to the top? Brute Strength Vs Graceful Speed…Rocker Vs Cheerleader…Magic Vs Technology… _

(Screen shows Juniper beating the tar out of a centaur with her bare fists after climbing into the beast's shoulders. Then shows Kim Possible back flipping away laser beams intending to kill her, then dodging and weaving several henchmen who clumsily trying to capture her. Another scene shows June performing a rocking guitar solo, playing complex hammer-ons, and pull-offs. While Kim is at the top of the cheer pyramid with her teammates holding her, shaking her pom-poms in the air. A final scene shows her in a cauldron with her Ah-Mah, and then Kim talking to her wrist Kimmunicator.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

Simulation: Kim is seen entering a building still under construction; she begins to get a message on her Kimmunicator that powerful fighter in the area, warning her to prepare herself. Suddenly a young Chinese American girl jumped to the ground, that girl is Juniper Lee. The two girls saw each other, and June gets a call that a H.A.M agent is in the field. Believing that Kim is the said agent, the Te Xuan Ze pulls out her Staff, and confronts the spy.

Before Kim even attempted to talk her out, June twirls her staff in hopes to knock her out. Kim then back flips away with her attacker following pursuit, one of Juniper's attacks struck a nearby wooden beam, snapping it like a twig. Kim saw this, and realizes that she's no ordinary child. The Redhead pulls out her Grapple Gun, and shoots the weapon out of June's hands; she quickly reloads and shoots to the second complete floor (The Staircases weren't finished). Ascending her way out of the guardian's reach.

But to her surprise, Kim saw that Juniper simply jumped up high into the air. Similar to a certain Asian warrior that can jump good, June climbed up to the second story floor as if it were a small ridge. Kim shoots her grappling gun but the Te Xuan Ze dodges in time as she pulls out twin hook swords out of her magical satchel, and cause Kim to drop her weapon. June swung her swords, hoping to hit her target but the cheerleader is able to dodge and weave. Thinking she can be safe at a range, Kim drops her guard and grows closer to June. Then suddenly, Kim received a gash across her stomach. She then sees Juniper connected her swords for a longer range, and continues to go after her.

No longer to face her toe-to-toe, Kim retreated while holding her wounds. Realizing that June is catching up with her, Kim pulls out her lip-gloss, and throws the makeup at the charging guardian. Juniper caught wind of this but she was too late, noxious green fumes hits her, and gets into a coughing fit as it surrounds her.

Thinking that the coast is clear, Kim drew closer to see but suddenly a gust of wind clears away the fumes. The Te Xuan Ze swings her Whip Chain like a fan to clear the smoke, and continues to swing the chain, forcing Kim to back away. June then throws and wraps the chain into the leg of an unexpected Kim. She then pulls her down on her back, and drags her to finish her off. Kim tries with all her might to pull her back as well, but June's strength is too much for her.

With quick thinking, Kim grabs pulls out her Laser Lipstick, and melts it free. She then fire towards the surprised guardian who manages to come to her senses in time, but not without bad burn on her shoulder. Enraged, Juniper grabs her Hook Swords, and charges at her. But the teen spy, waited for the perfect moment to get her close, and kicks her in the stomach as she went back right on her feet.

Losing her weapons dropped to the first floor, she pulls out her Emei Piercers, and dodges Kim's laser attack. June eventually went close enough to stab her hand, making Kim drop her weapon as well. In spite of her intense training, the twirling piercers became too much for her as Kim was clocked in the face. Too stunned to counterattack, the Te Xuan Ze tackles Kim to the floor, with the latter holding off the blades that are literally inches away to her throat. Juniper failed to drive the piercers away as Kim was able to throw her off.

Despite her wounds, Kim fled from the battle as June pursues. She manages to pull out her Battle Suit from her backpack, and wears it just in time as Juniper entered the scene. Even though the strange, high tech outfit perplexes her, the Te Xuan Ze kept her guard as she twirls her piercers. As if she is taunting for the spy to make the first move, a bad mistake as Kim dashed quicker than a cheetah. June barely blocked the first attack in time, as her very feet dragged across the floor. Surprised that Kim is just as strong and fast as her, Juniper kept her guard as she return to strike back. But the cheerleader can block the blades away, as if the suit is made of metal. Both girls exchanged various blows and grapples, both blocking and dodging away with both girls neither showing any signs of advantage nor slowing down. Constant blocks had worn the piercers to uselessness, and the incomplete charged suit's power is draining away. Kim knows that she can only use the force field for a few seconds, and continues to blocks her attack.

Grasping to each other's hands, the two girls got into a game of Mercy as they struggled to get the upper hand. Juniper with the last of her strength, pushes Kim off the incomplete, second story floor, and both fell to the first story floor. The two girls lay in the ground until the Te Xuan Ze is the first one to recover, and makes one final leap towards the incapacitated teen spy. She used her trump card, the amulet as she fires a beam straight ahead. But Kim saw this and turns on her force field in time. The beam shot back at June, before she can dodge, the beam hits her in the middle of the air. Her entire body slowly turns to stone as June's expression frozen into a complete surprise, June's stone body shattered into impact leaving pebbles as remains.

Kim got up to her feet and gives a face of remorse while clutching her wounds. She thought the girl would've been a good ally and walks away in a limp.

Winner: Kim Possible

_Narrator: Kim won the duel with 532-recorded kills with the Battle Suit leading the way; while Juniper's kill record a close second with the Amulet. Kim's years of experience fighting evil scientists, angry golfers, retired multibillionaires, super villains, and a monkey obsessed martial artist made her a victor in the fight. Despite Juniper Lee fighting countless monsters, demons, witches, and a Norse god. Her lack of magical skills and over relying on brute strength gave her the downfall._

Juniper's kills: 468

Emei Piercers: 78

Hook Swords and Staff: 157

Whip Chain: 73

Amulet: 160

Kim's kills: 532

Laser Lipstick: 60

Lip Gloss: 53

Grapple Gun: 53

Power Suit: 366

Discussion at the fight club, the team talked and complained about the outcome.

"HEY NO FAIR I DEMANDED A REMATCH!" Ray-Ray angrily yelled at the top of his lungs. "JUNE CAN'T LOSE TO A CHEERLEADER!"

"Calm down laddie, it's only a simulation." The dog hushed attempting to calm the 8-year-old down. "I can still count on her over Kim."

"Ai-ya, it seems Juniper needs more training." Jasmine sighed at the outcome. "Maybe after that, we can see a rematch."

"I'm not going to lie, Juniper is a great fighter." Wade said. "But it's just that Kim's better fighter and better strategist is the reason why she won, and you don't need to be a genius to figure that out."

"KP won! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh!." Ron singing the victory song as he swung his arms around victoriously. "You got to say something Rufus?"

"Boo-yah!"

Scene then shows a close up of Kim smiling victoriously similar to the end of "So The Drama" …

The end!

Author's note: If you're mad that your favorite character lost, then tough crap. I said it's for entertainment and I'll repeat it again and again.

Anyone interested for me making more fight requests. Just comment away! Criticisms are accepted as long as they are CONSTRUCTIVE. Meaning tell me why you don't like about it (But if you're a fan and still got pissed despite the warnings earlier, then you're an idiot.) or what I need to improve.


	5. Toon Patrol Vs The Gangrene Gang

Deadliest Cartoon Character: Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I neither own any cartoon characters nor Spike TV's hit "The Deadliest Warrior" This is just for pure entertainment and not to be taken seriously…_

_Author's Note: Finally after a month I give you the battle you've been waiting for…my first team battle. _

_Narrator: The Toon Patrol, the so-called security of Toontown. Henchmen of Judge Doom and enjoy causing misery of their fellow toons._

(Five Weasels crashed into a bar, destroying various furniture in the process as they cackle wildly along the way)

_Narrator: The Gangrene Gang, hoodlums of Townsville. They strive on causing mischief and mayhem._

(Five green skinned youths are seen spraying graffiti on a city wall and then shown shoplifting from a store.)

_Narrator: WHO…IS…THE…DEADLIEST?_

(The two groups open fire into a large gang brawl_._)

Narrator: To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first-century science, we find out what would happen when the two teams go toe-to-toe. No rules, no safety, and no mercy: It's a duel to the death to decide who is…

**DEADLIEST CARTOON CHARACTER**

The scene now shows inside building where sounds of fighting are heard. Various weapons, targets, and animal carcasses are displayed along with some high tech looking gear.

_Narrator: The Fight Club: a_ _remote place in California where we've assembled doctors, scientists, and combat experts. They are here to decide who would win a battle between two hardcore gangs of the Cartoon world. The Toon Patrol…_

Toon Patrol's Stats:

First year of appearance: June 22, 1988

Owned by: Touchstone Studios, Amblin Entertainment, and Walt Disney Studios

Creator: Robert Zemeckis

Members: Wise Guy, Greasy, Wheezy, Psycho, and Stupid

Voices: June Fonray, David Lander, Fred Newman, and Charles Fleischer

_Narrator: The Gangrene Gang_

Gangrene Gang's Stats:

First year and title of appearance: 1992's "Whoopass Stew"

Owned by: Cartoon Network

Creator: Craig McCracken

Members: Ace, Snake, Big Billy, Lil' Arturo, and Grubber

Voices: Jeff Bennett and Tom Kenny

_Narrator: The two teams show that one group is a greater menace than the other._

Representing Team Weasel is Eddie Valiant and Jessica Rabbit.

"The weasels are nothing but trouble." Eddie said. "Of all the toons I hated, weasels are especially the worst."

"They're really are bad." Jessica said in her sultry tone. "No one know's why, but maybe it's because they're just drawn that way."

For Team Green, there's Ms. Bellum and Professor Utonium.

"The Gangrene Gang used to be a band of juvenile delinquents." Ms. Bellum said. "But in recent years they've gotten more ruthless."

"These hoodlums are one of the many villains that my girls fought." The professor informed. "They are not to be messed with now since they begin dealing drugs and buying illegal arms."

_Narrator: The teams collected the groups' favorite weapons…_

**Toon Patrol's weapons:**

Baseball Bat

Revolver and Sawed Off Shotgun

Tommy Gun

Straight Razor

Cartoon Bomb

**Gangrene Gang's weapons:**

Metal Pipe

9mm Pistol and Pump Action Shotgun

Ingram Mac-10 Submachine Gun

Switchblade

Molotov Cocktail

_Narrator: Testing first for long range is the Tommy gun, one of the most famous guns ever created. With its trademark drum magazine and firing rate, even non-gun owners know the design._

"As much as I hate the weasels, you got to admit they got impressive fire power." Eddie said as he walked into an outside shooting range. The target range resemble a bar (Similar to the Mafia Vs Yakuza episode) with dummies dressed like bartenders and patrons complete with chairs, stools, and various mugs and glasses.

The detective open fires, a rain of bullets came down upon the bar. Desolating everything that comes in its wake. When the magazine finally emptied, the bar was a similar to a slaughterhouse. Most of the glass and mugs are shattered and every dummy is leaking out fake blood. Many if not all of the furniture are ridden with bullet holes.

_Narrator: The older model doesn't give much impression to the other team. They have a more modern and newer automatic weapon that can give the same results…the Mac-10, the smaller and compact American cousin of the Israeli Uzi._

"This is here is the Ingram Mac-10." Ms. Bellum informed. "They also use the same .45 ammo as the Thompson."

The mayor's aid walks into a new and improved bar, and just as Detective Valiant, she open fires. It continued to perforate everything in its path, up until the gun ran out of ammo. Ms. Bellum quickly reloads and continues the destruction. The aftermath is as same as before… bullet holes everywhere, broken glass in the floor, and fake blood aplenty.

_Narrator_: _Although both machine guns gave devastating results, the Tommy Gun gets the edge for a bigger 50 round drum magazine compared to the Mac-10's 30 rounds._

Edge: Toon Patrol

_Narrator: Determined to win this round, Team Gangrene brought two weapons...The 92F Beretta and the Remington 870 Pump-Action Shotgun._

Professor Utonium pumps his shotgun and Ms. Bellum cocks her pistol as they walked into a shooting range with gel torsos.

"The Thompson may have us beaten in terms of submachine guns, but we have more modernized guns." Professor announced confidently. "The Beretta pistol and the Remington shotgun are offical guns for US law enforcements."

Both the professor and the mayor's aid open fired. The shotgun pellets destroyed the gel torsos with deadly force; as all 8 targets are stricken with one of them even fell from the sheer power the other target has its fake head blown off. All of the Gel Torsos look like red gelatin instead of a human body. Back to the pistol, Ms. Bellum emptied the entire magazine of 15 bullets in mere seconds. The gun struck all three-pistol targets with five gunshot wounds each, as fake blood oozes.

_Narrator:_ _Now, Team Toon Patrol brings two of their own weapons to the party, the Sawn off Shotgun AKA the Lupara and the S&W .38 Revolver. _

Jessica arms herself with the Lupara and Eddie loads the revolver into the same shooting range with new targets in the same positions.

"We'll show them that our weapons are more handy, if you catch our drift." Jessica said in her sultry voice.

Both her and Eddie fired on the targets; Jessica's shotgun fired off both of her shells striking two of her targets before reloading new shells. This time, she fires one shell at a time. Even though one target got a chest full of buckshot, it was less damaging in compared to the pump action cousin. Eddie's revolver was able to shoot all three of his targets with two accurate each, but the detective was forced to reload in order to fire as much as the competing semi auto.

_Narrator: Despite the accuracy of the revolver, and the devastation of the sawn off shotgun, both of their constant reloading gives more trouble for their worth. Therefore ammo capacity and quicker rate of fire for both the 9mm pistol and the pump action shotgun got earned them the edge in Mid Range._

Edge: Gangrene Gang

_Narrator: Next is Close Range, with the Baseball Bat and Straight Razor._

Both members pick up their weapons and walked up to the closest thing for a human body, two pigs' carcasses.

"Looks like we're gonna have to tenderize some meat." Eddie grimly joked.

With less than 20 seconds in the time limit, Eddie begins an all out beat down on the pig carcass. The sounds of bones crunching grew louder and sickening by the second. For the Straight Razor, the pig's flesh slit open with various cuts and nicks as Jessica violently slashes it away her smile is reminiscent of a psychotic barber musical. As the time limit is up, Dr. Dorian checked on the victims.

"The pig getting beaten by bat has its spine shattered from the second the bat connected, if that didn't killed him, then the internal bleeding from the ruptured organs and broken bones would." He informed. "And as for the pig getting cut up, some of the cuts aren't fatal but the ones that are in the vital areas such as the jugular and the blood vessels, he'll be bleeding to death."

_Narrator: Next, Team Gangrene will back up with a Metal Pipe and the Switchblade._

"Since the Gangrene gang live in a junkyard, their weapons are already available." Ms Bellum said. "Case in point, the metal pipe."

At the testing, two new pig carcasses are in place. As the time starts, the mayor's aide gave a surprisingly powerful blow to the pig's spine, and continues to beat down on the meaty piñata. The professor on the other hand continuously stabs his target repeatedly, as stabs wounds laid waste on the porcine victim.

Result was a grisly mess; the pig's in bad shape just as the one getting hit by the bat as it's barely hanging on the hook. As for the Switchblade victim, the similarity is that of Swiss cheese, with the blade stuck on the pig's spine.

_Narrator: Both melee weapons of each side give considerable damage, since neither results shows whose weapons are more powerful. Edge gives to both sides…_

Edge: Draw

_Narrator: Finally, for the special weapons. Both teams brought a surprise that will end in a bang!_

For the Special Weapons testing, Jessica rabbit walks up to a shack that's similar to the Gangrene Gang's hideout. All five dummies are inside dressed like them accordingly.

"I'll give these boys a surprise they'll never forget." She announced mischievously as she shows the Cartoon Bomb.

Roger Rabbit's wife lit up the explosive and throws it inside the door. After someone shouting, "Fire in the Hole!" Jessica dived in to the Plexiglas shelter to shield herself from the blast. For a few seconds, the sounds of the fuse hissed until it stopped, but the silence has ended with an earth shattering…KABOOM!

Inside the burning wreckage, no furniture is left intact; all of the members are dead. "Ace" and "Snake" had both missing limbs, while "Big Billy's" stomach is ridden in various shrapnel, "Grubber" is burned all over and "Lil' Arturo" is completely missing.

_Narrator: For Team Gangrene, they have another surprise in store. For those who are thirsty, enjoy the Molotov Cocktail!_

"There's a reason why it was given the nickname, 'The Poor Man's Grenade.'" Professor Utonium said. "All you need is a glass bottle, any flammable liquid, something that sticks, and a old rag for a wick."

The Professor walks up to a car from the 1930s, inside the car are the dummies dressed up as the Toon Patrol.

After lighting up the rag, he throws the burning projectile at the car. The vehicle erupts into flames as the firestorm burns away the weasels inside like a crematorium, roasting them alive. Eventually, the fire entered the fuselage as the car explodes as Professor Utonium escaped unscathed.

Dr. Dorian investigates the damage of both weapons.

"Both weapons gave tremendous killing power but the Cartoon Bomb obliterates anything in its path, while the Molotov Cocktail takes awhile to literally burn away, and since it's a glass bottle, the user is in danger as well when lit." He concluded.

_Narrator: Despite the burning power of the Molotov, the weapon is dangerous to the user as well to its victims. Edge goes to the Cartoon Bomb for its ability to disorient its foes._

Edge: Toon Patrol

_Narrator: Testing is now complete; it is time to who is more superior. We now upload the data gathered from the tests into a battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studios. To avoid a lucky shot, we will simulate the battle a thousand times on a showdown between the first squad on squad combat of the two groups._

_Who will come to the top? Gangster Vs Gangsta…Extortion Vs Vandalism…Old fashioned Vs Modern… _

(It shows the weasels performing a drive-by in their car, while the Gangrene Gang walks across the street as bystanders escape from their path. Then shows the wesels threatening a storeowner for money, while the Gangrene Gang looting a store while smashing everything in its path. Finally, shows them in their respective time settings.)

_**WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?**_

Simulation: The Gangrene Gang walked out of their clubhouse to see a 1940s Dodge Humpback Paddy Wagon driving in front of their hideout. As the car parks in close, five weasels came out. The two teams stared at each other from their peculiar appearance, finally both leaders decided that the other side is a threat, and pulled out their weapons.

Ace was first to shoot with his Pump Action shotgun; the 12-gauge slug struck Stupid, and sends him flying before hitting the ground lifeless. The weasels then dived to their car as cover.

Wheezy then returns fire with his Tommy gun, and the green hoodlums managed to duck for cover in the hideout. All except Big Billy, who is too dumb to know what hit him. The Cyclops' arms flailed as his body was riddled with bullets before falling to the floor with a loud thud.

**Toon Patrol: 4 Gangrene Gang: 4**

Snake and Greasy gave blind shots with their handguns, forcing each other to take cover, the leaders unleashed shotgun blasts, and the machine gunners fired away. Both sides took cover and exchanged fire, neither side hitting their mark. That is until Lil' Arturo spots Greasy reloading his revolver, and fires a burst with his Mac-10. The Spanish-speaking weasel clutches his bloody, bullet-ridden suit as he collapsed to his knees.

"Madre de dios." He muttered with his final breather before dying from his wounds.

Wise Guy avenged his fallen comrade by firing off both shells of his Lupara at Snake who coincidently was too busy reloading to notice, let alone dodge. The unlucky target was hit by two buckshot shells, and dies with his eyes stared lifelessly in the air.

**Toon Patrol: 3 Gangrene Gang: 3**

Ace and Wise Guy both ran out of shells as Ace retreated further in the junkyard with Grubber, and Lil' Arturo stayed behind to hold the weasels off. The green leader left a fiery present via Molotov cocktail and hurled it towards car. Wise Guy and Psycho managed to dodge the burning bomb, but not Wheezy as the car explodes front of him. The blue smoking weasel lit up in flames as he shrieked in agony before hitting the floor as a smoldering corpse.

The two surviving weasels went back to the smoldering wreck of their car to avoid getting hit by the machine pistol. Psycho used the car fire as a way to lit the Cartoon Bomb and tossed it over to the Mexican midget. The short member was too busy firing to notice the explosive go off with a big "Boom!" Lil' Arturo was tossed to the sky before hitting the ground, dead as a doornail.

**Toon Patrol: 2 Gangrene Gang: 2**

Wise Guy picked up Stupid's bat along the way and Psycho pulled out his straight razor as they went after the two remaining gang members throughout the junkyard. They eventually caught up with them catching their breath. Grubber pulled out his switchblade and Ace picked a nearby metal pipe, engaging for an all out melee. The hunchback went after Wise Guy and the psychotic weasel went after Ace.

Both Grubber and Psycho attempted to swing and stab at the enemy's leaders. They both jumped and lunged at them to get them disarrayed for a better kill. Ace and Wise Guy dodged and blocked the blades. Eventually the sheer brute force of the bat and pipe overwhelmed both Psycho and Grubber. In unison, Wise Guy and Ace disarmed their attackers by striking them in the arm, and then jabs the club into the victims' stomach as they stumbled backwards. Then, they each gave two mighty swings; first swing struck in the back and the second connected to the back of their heads. The two victims hit the floor in a daze, and the leaders continue to bludgeon them to the ground until both Psycho and Grubber stopped moving with the sounds of their bones and skulls cracking.

**Toon Patrol: 1 Gangrene Gang: 1**

The clubbing broke both the bat and dented the pipe, so Ace picked up the Switchblade, and lunged towards Wise Guy who got his Straight Razor ready. Ace's height overwhelmed the weasel leader, where the latter got a cut across his chest. Wise Guy snarled and returned the favor by slashing him in the face. The green hoodlum covered his face in pain and destroyed his sunglasses in place of a new scar. Enraged, Ace tackled the charging weasel, and begins to pummel him to the ground.

Even though he was beaten senseless, Wise Guy managed to hold off the switchblade aiming for his throat. Finally, he got the upper hand when he kicked Ace in the groin, causing him to stumble backward in pain. Ace quickly recovered as he tries to tackle him again, this time Wise Guy was ready as he sliced him several times in the chest, resulting him to land on his knees. The Toon Patrol leader grabs the injured Ace by the hair and slams his face to the ground several times before finishing it off by slitting his throat. Blood starts trickles from Ace's throat as he gurgled as he hits his face dead. Pleased from his victory, Wise Guy lights a cigar from his pocket, and gives a drag of smoke victoriously.

**Winner: Toon Patrol**

_Narrator: The Toon Patrol dominated the Gangrene Gang with 586 kills with the Tommy Gun as their biggest killer, while the Gangrene Gang won with 414 kills with the Mac-10. Despite the Gangrene Gang's more modern weapons, the Toon Patrol's ruthless tenacity dominated over simple vandalism and troublemaking. The weasels led by Wise Guy were more disciplined and better lead than the green skinned teens. _

**Toon Patrol's kills**: 586

Baseball Bat and Straight Razor: 19

Revolver and Sawed Off Shotgun: 200

Tommy Gun: 300

Cartoon Bomb: 67

**Gangrene Gang's kills**: 414

Metal Pipe and Switchblade: 19

9mm Pistol and Pump Action Shotgun: 129

Mac 10: 240

Molotov Cocktail: 26

Discussion at the fight club, Dr. Dorian talks about his opinion on the outcome.

"The weasels are basically the mafia in Toon Town, and the Gangrene Gang are nothing more but common thugs." The Medical Doctor said. "You don't need the testing to see who will win."

The final scene shows Wise Guy hitchhiking on a road outside of the junkyard.

_The end!_

_Author's note: If you're mad that your favorite character lost, then tough crap. I said it's for entertainment and I'll repeat it again and again. If you're wondering why weasels can be killed by normal means instead of DIP or laughing themselves to death…a wizard did it…_

_Anyone interested for me making more fight requests. Just comment away! Criticisms are accepted as long as they are CONSTRUCTIVE. Meaning tell me why you don't like about it or what I need to improve. (But if you're a fan and still got pissed despite the warnings _earlier, then you're an idiot.)


	6. Shego Vs Azula

Deadliest Cartoon Character: Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: I neither own any cartoon characters nor Spike TV's hit "The Deadliest Warrior" This is just for pure entertainment and not to be taken seriously…_

_Narrator: Shego, henchwoman for Dr. Drakken, and one of the most formidable foes Kim Possible fought._

(A pale, dark green haired woman in a green and black jumpsuit is shown walking with her hands glowing green.)

_Narrator: Princess Azula, daughter of the Fire Lord, and of the cruelest person ever fought by the Avatar…_

(Shows a young woman in far eastern style armored clothing generating electricity in her fingertips.)

_Narrator: WHO…IS…THE…DEADLIEST?_

(The two-femme fatales clashed with their powers charged each other in a duel to the death.)

Narrator: To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first-century science, we find out what would happen when the two teams go toe-to-toe. No rules, no safety, and no mercy: It's a duel to the death to decide who is…

**DEADLIEST CARTOON CHARACTER**

The scene now shows inside building where sounds of fighting are heard. Various weapons, targets, and animal carcasses are displayed along with some high tech looking gear.

_Narrator: The Fight Club: a_ _remote place in California where we've assembled doctors, scientists, and combat experts. They are here to decide who would win a battle between two femme fatales of the Cartoon world. Shego…_

Shego's Stats:

First year of appearance: June 7, 2002

Episode Name: "Crush"

Owned by: Walt Disney Studios

Creators: Bob Schooly and Mark McCorkle

Voice Actress: Nicole Sullivan

_Narrator: Vs Princess Azula_

Azula's Stats:

First (Official) year appearance: December 2, 2005

Episode Name: The Siege of The North Part 2

Owned by: Nickelodeon Studios

Creators: Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko

Voice actress: Grey DeLisle

_Narrator: The two teams show that one group is a greater menace than the other._

Representing Team Shego is Dr. Drakken and Kim Possible.

"She may not be obedient but she does get her job done." The mad scientist said and then whispers to a nearby cameraman. "Is this part of my community service?"

"I fought her plenty of times and she's a real threat." Kim Possible said confidently, proud of her victory in her own simulation. "Azula maybe bred for war, but she's still a spoiled, rich brat."

For Team Azula, there's Mai and Zuko.

"Do you really need to test how deadly Azula is?" Mai asked in a bored tone. "You probably haven't been paying enough attention."

"My sister was my father's favorite, she's bred and trained for war." Zuko announced. "Shego is too laid back and not disciplined enough in a fight with her."

_Narrator: The teams collected the warrior's favorite weapons…_

**Shego's weapons:**

Fists

Electro Staff

Energy Blasts

Energy Fists

**Azula's weapons:**

Pearl Dagger

Shuriken

Firebending

Lightning

_Narrator: First testing is the Long Range, starting with Firebending_

The Fire Lord walks up to a firing range with the shooting range dummies set up. To motivate the scarred young man, the dummies were all dressed like Drakken's henchmen.

Without saying a single word, Zuko's hands immolate fire, and begin to hurl fireballs at his targets. Every burning projectile struck each dummy as they incinerate into a fiery ember.

_Narrator: The signature weapon of the Firebenders didn't impress the rival team, and to up their ante, Dr. Drakken brings up special gloves to emulate Shego's signature powers._

"Fire is so been done too many times." The blue skinned doctor scoffed. "You're just lucky that Kim Possible is keeping me on guard, or you'll see me escaping!"

"Wait a minute, you're actually glad that I'm keeping an eye on you?" The red-haired girl asked with a smirk. "That's awfully out of character coming from you."

Dr. Drakken realized what he just said and growls in annoyance.

"Kim Possible, you think you're all that!"

With his modified gloves glowing green, Drakken fires at the dummies dressed like Fire Nation soldiers while grinning sinisterly. All the targets exploded on impact, and unlike firebending, there were no remains of the targets. All of them were vaporized into tiny fragments, those that were left intact shows signs of melting.

_Narrator_: _Shego's energy blasts out blasts Azula's Firebending for the edge on Long Range._

Edge: Shego

_Narrator: Next was Drakken with his glowing glove emulator again and walks up to a pig carcass. The closest substance to a human body…_

The mad scientist cackles as he plans to escape but then gets electrocuted via shock collar courtesy of the Deadliest Cartoon Character staff.

"Fine, I'll continue testing the weapons!" Dr. D grumbled.

His gloves glowed even brighter than before, as the aura grew bigger, finally he slams his hands on the carcass. The result was a sickening mess with the carcass melts into an oozing pile of flesh and blood.

_Narrator:_ _Now, Zuko returns to the fight with a new technique he learned from his uncle._

"It took me awhile for my uncle to teach me this, but the training is worth it." Zuko announced as he gets into fighting position.

He brings his fingers far back as it suddenly charges with electricity. Zuko continues to charge it up until he releases the crackling bolt to a pig carcass, several feet away from him. The carcass left a gaping hole where the heart should be; the remaining bones and flesh inside were cooked to a crisp.

_Narrator: The high voltage attack leaves the other team in shock, while the energy fists deliver death up close. Lightening can deliver the same death at a longer range._

Edge: Azula

_Narrator: Next is Close Range, with the Pearl Dagger. The official side arm of the Fire Nation and a weapon perfect for smuggling and assassinations…_

Mai walks up to a gel torso with her dagger in hand, and without a single word, she drives the blade into the throat. Then she stabs three more times in the torso, the heart, and back in the head.

ER doctor Armand Dorian checks on the damage.

"You can see the blade went deep through the all the vital areas," He said while examining the wounds. Fake blood spews to the floor from the remaining wounds as more fake blood continues to ooze to the floor, forming a pool in its wake.

_Narrator: Next, Kim will practice her martial arts skills with special gloves now emulating Shego's strength._

"Shego doesn't need a weapon because she already is one." Kim said as she puts up with her dukes.

She walks up to a special testing dummy strapped with sensors, then with the start of a 15 second time limit. Kim begins to pummel the day lights out of the dummy with a flurry of punches and kicks, and then she performs a shoulder throw with a powerful thud to the floor, and finally finishes off with a stomp to the head.

Dr. Dorian examines the damage and much to Kim's disappointment, the dummy is badly beaten but still alive.

"Is the dummy badly hurt? Yes, but will he die immediately? No…" Dr. Dorian informed to the cheerleader. "Remember, this is who can kill quicker not disable."

"Here, let me end his misery." Mai taunted in her indifferent tone and sticks her dagger into the dummy's throat.

_Narrator: Edge gives it to Azula and the pearl dagger for its quicker killing power than simple fists._

Edge: Azula

_Narrator: Finally, for the Mid Range testing, Team Azula brought one weapon to use in battle. The shuriken!_

Mai walks up to a firing range laid across with five testing dummies, and to motivate the emotionless girl, the dummies are dressed like henchmen to motivate her.

"Her skills aren't great as mine, but her aim is much better than Ty Lee's" Mai said.

After she said that, she throws all five of her throwing blades into each of the dummies' throats. Mai isn't finished as she throws five more with similar results into the torsos, and finally, five more into the heads.

Just like the last test, fake blood seeps to the floor, creating a larger puddle.

_Narrator: Despite the fearsome skills of the aloof markswoman, Team Shego is not impressed, and proclaims they have a more "shocking" weapon in store. The Electro Staff!_

"That's a great weapon for throwing away." Kim taunted to her counterpart. "Shego's too fast and smart to let herself get hit something like that."

"Well, you fought ninjas yourself." Zuko informed her. "They always carry the last one for close combat."

"And what weapon did you bring?" Mai asked. "What weapon can top ours?"

Without a word, she picks up the Electro Staff, and walks up to a cow carcass.

"This here is the Electro Staff, and since Jack Hench charges extra for weapons training, Shego often trains the henchmen with this!" Dr. Drakken said proudly.

The electric weapon crackles loudly and at the right momentum, jams the staff to the carcass. It then sizzles and crackles as the smell of meat cooking wafts to the air, the target is cooked to a blackened crisp, and smoke is coming out of the pig carcass.

It doesn't take a doctor to know that anyone who gets hit will be sizzled up like a slice of bacon.

_Narrator: Despite the speedy accuracy of the shuriken, the Electro Staff gets the edge for its fearsome firepower._

Edge: Shego

_Narrator: Testing is now complete; it is time to who is more superior. We now upload the data gathered from the tests into a battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studios. To avoid a lucky shot, we will simulate the battle a thousand times to a duel to the death of the femme fatales._

_The battle between opposites: Sarcasm Vs Sardonic, Paid Work Vs Nationalism, and Simple Tactics Vs Complex Trickery._

(Shows Shego mouthing off to Drakken and then Azula cruelly mocking Aang and her friends. Next shows Shego simply reading her magazine while Azula is in the Fire Nation throne standing proud. Finally it shows Shego charging at Kim Possible with her hands charged and then shows the Azula in the Earth Kingdom devising her scheme.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

Simulation: Shego was busy babysitting the lair, until she hears the sounds of battle going on. She rushed in while hearing the sounds of lightening strikes, roaring fire, panicking henchmen, and dying groans.

"Lightening, in a middle of the day?" Shego asked to herself.

When she opened the door where the commotion is from, what she saw was a massacre. Corpses of henchmen laid about, some had multiple stab wounds while many were burned to a crisp or even still burning. Some were covered with shurikens, and the rest looked like they were stuck down by electricity.

Shego got into a battle position, and prepares herself for battle as her hands glow green. Then a figure lands to the floor with grace. She appears no older than Kim and is donned with far eastern style clothes, as she smirks cruelly towards her. It was none other than Azula.

"Mistaken me for someone else?" She asked as blue fire surrounds her hands, and then she glanced at Shego's own hands. "Interesting powers you got there, care to test it out?"

"Yes, I thought you were someone named Kim." The green haired woman replied. "And as for testing, I'm more than glad to show it to you!"

Shego fires a straight green energy to the princess. Azula cartwheels away in time as the blasts hits a nearby pillar. The Fire Nation girl saw what the damage can do to her and retaliates by lobbing blue fireballs at Shego who backflips away in return, igniting fire in its wake. Shego then sidestep charges and picks up a fallen henchman's Electro Staff, with her weapon now charged up, she thrusts the weapon to Azula who dodges in time.

Unfortunately for Shego, the weapon got lodged to a wall, and the princess slices the staff with her dagger. Azula then attempts to slash and stab at the former super heroine whom dodged and weave away, however she can only avoid if for so long as Shego got a small cut across her chest. Azula grins sinisterly as she makes one more stab, but Shego grabs the blade in time, and melts it away with her radiating hands.

Seeing her weapon melting in front of her eyes and realizes what it can do to her, she kicks Shego, and retreats throughout the hall. The ex-Team Go proceeds to follow afoot, glow hands at ready. Azula stops at the end of the hall and sees her catching up, and throws her shurikens to slow her down. But Shego caught wind of this, and jumps over them gracefully, and fires back at the Princess. After dodging the green blasts and the debris it forms after, she lobs more fireballs to Shego. Shego sidesteps the fireballs causing the hallway aflame, Azula decides it was time to use her trump card, and begins to summon Lightening.

Too bad for Azula, Shego caught up close, and was forced to cancel it out. The two got into a powerful melee. Both of them dodged and weaved from one's attacks. Azula slide kicks, creating a crescent of fire in an arc. Shego in turned jumps over and pounds her glowing fists at her, the latter rolls away as the ground floor melts. She then kicks up another crescent of fire towards Shego but Shego sidesteps away, before tackling her to the floor. Before she finds it coming, Azula is pummeled by Drakken's henchwoman.

Shego decides to make her suffer and saves her energy hands for last; she picks up the princess and knees her hard in the stomach followed by a powerful elbow strike in the back. Azula spat out blood and groans in pain as she was unable to break free from Shego's grasps. The green femme fatale punches her several times in stomach then clutches her by the throat, and slams Azula to a wall. Shego's free hand glows green, signaling to end the battle for good.

But Azula with her senses returned came back at the right moment, and frees herself from Shego's grasp. The energy punch meant for Azula left a large hole in place, and Shego's hand got stuck as a result. Azula had a final surprise literally in her sleeve, as she pulls out her last shuriken as stabs her hand deep enough to get it lodged. Shego can only look in fear as she desperately frees herself as the princesses' fingertips begin to charge with electricity.

The last thing Shego saw was a bolt of lighting heading towards her, the hallway echoes with the crackling of lightening, and the dying screams of Shego. Then it shows her charred body slumped over with the victorious Azula yelling with a haunting echo…

"FIRE NATION!"

**Winner: Azula**

_Narrator: Of the 1000 battles, Azula won with 596 kills with her Lightening at 295. Shego only received 404 kills with her Energy Blasts. Azula's ruthless tenacity and her training for war were too much for Shego whom one of her formidable foes is a cheerleader. Despite Shego's powers and experience as a villain, she's only motivated as a paid contractor, and never fought in a war._

**Shego's kills: 404**

Fists: 1

Electro Staff: 120

Energy Blasts: 131

Energy Hands: 52

**Azula's kills: 596**

Pearl Dagger: 17

Shuriken: 30

Firebending: 254

Lighting Bending: 295

The teammates begin to discuss over the outcome.

"Shego is no pushover," Zuko said. "But like I said earlier, she hasn't have the skills nor the discipline to defeat my sister."

"Azula won, no surprise." Mai said aloofly.

"Bah! Azula thinks she's all that!" Drakken grumbled at the outcome.

"Was I wrong about Azula being spoiled," Kim said. "Even I start to think she's more dangerous than Shego now."

(We see Azula yelling "FIRE NATION!" victoriously again.)

The end!

Author's note: If you're mad that your favorite character lost, then tough crap. I said it's for entertainment and I'll repeat it again and again.

Plus: if you wondering how Shego can be easily electrocuted when she only frizzled her hair in "So THe Drama" ...a wizard did it...

Anyone interested for me making more fight requests. Just comment away! Criticisms are accepted as long as they are CONSTRUCTIVE. Meaning tell me why you don't like about it or what I need to improve. (But if you're a fan and still got pissed despite the warnings earlier, then you're an idiot.)


	7. Stormtroopers Vs ODST

Deadliest Cartoon Character: Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: I neither own any cartoon characters nor Spike TV's hit "The Deadliest Warrior" This is just for pure entertainment and not to be taken seriously…_

_Note: I'm aware that they're not really cartoon characters, but it's still a request from my friend to Deviant Art!_

_Narrator: The Imperial Stormtroopers, the vast endless army of the Galactic Empire. _

(A squad of troopers donned in white armor march across the streets of Tatooine.)

_Narrator: The Orbital Drop Shock Troopers, the best trained soldiers of the UNSC, and the first to arrive in battle during the vicious war against The Covenant. _

(A squad of black armored soldiers opening firing on the Covenant Grunts..)

_Narrator: WHO…IS…THE…DEADLIEST?_

(The two squads got into a fierce firefight in the middle of a village street.)

Narrator: To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first-century science, we find out what would happen when the two teams go toe-to-toe. No rules, no safety, and no mercy: It's a duel to the death to decide who is…

**DEADLIEST CARTOON CHARACTER**

The scene now shows inside building where sounds of fighting are heard. Various weapons, targets, and animal carcasses are displayed along with some high tech looking gear.

_Narrator: The Fight Club: a_ _remote place in California where we've assembled doctors, scientists, and combat experts. They are here to decide who would win a battle between two sci-fi warriors…Star Wars' The Imperial Stormtroopers_

Stormtroopers' Stats:

First year of appearance: May 25, 1977

Appeared in: Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Allegiance: The Galactic Empire

Owned by: Lucasarts

Creator: George Lucas

Motto: "In the Name of the Empire"

_Narrator: Vs The ODST_

ODST's Stats:

First year appearance: November 9, 2004

Appeared in: Halo 2

Allegiance: The United Nations Space Command

Owned by: Bungie Studios

Creators: Jason Jones and Alex Seropian

Motto: "Feet first into hell"

_Narrator: The two teams show that one group is a greater warrior than the other._

Representing Team Stormtrooper is Han Solo and Luke Skywalker.

"I know about the Imperial troopers." The Falcon pilot said. "I used to be one awhile back long before I met Chewie and Luke."

"The Empire killed innocent people like my aunt and uncle," Luke said somberly. "They're countless in numbers and ruthless."

For Team ODST, there's Master Chief John 117 and Sergeant Avery Johnson.

"When the SPARTANS aren't around to fight, the ODST are the next best line of defense." Master Chief announced.

"The ODST are the finest soldiers the UNSC have to offer, ooh-rah!" Avery barked.

_Narrator: The teams collected the warrior's favorite weapons…_

**Stormtroopers' weapons:**

DLT-20A Blaster Rifle

E-11 Blaster Rifle

DLT-19 Heavy Blaster Rifle

Treppus-2 Vibroblade

SE-14r Light Repeating Blaster

Thermal Detonator

**ODST's weapons:**

SRS99C-S2 AMB Sniper Rifle

MA5C Assault Rifle

M90 Shotgun

Combat Knife

M6S Pistol

M9 Fragmentation Grenade

_Narrator: First testing are the Long Range weapons, starting with the standard issue rifles of the UNSC. The MA5C Assault Rifle and the SRS99C-S2 AMB Sniper Rifle._

Sergeant Johnson walked up to the firing range with five testing dummies all clad in Stormtrooper armor. He begins loading up the assault rifle and opens fire in small bursts, and obviously, the bullets pierced through the armor as blood seeps through the holes.

After clearing out the magazine, the cigar-chomping officer only said two words…

"Ooh-rah!"

For the Sniper Rifle, Master Chief walked into a new firing range with a gel torso wearing a Stormtrooper helmet. The target itself is sitting on a windowsill about a hundred feet away where the SPARTAN is standing. Master Chief took position and fired, the high caliber round flew at top speed until it struck the helmet. The gel head explodes in a chunk of fake blood and gray matter while staining the glass and its surroundings. John 117 fired again and struck the chest, leaving a huge, gaping hole where the chest once was.

"Bull's eye." The Master Chief said.

_Narrator: In their response, the Stormtrooper team brought two standard weapons of the Imperial Army, the E-11 Blaster Rifle and the DLT-20A Blaster Rifle._

Luke Skywalker walks up to the same sniping range with a new target in a new window. He prepares the DLT-20A Blaster Rifle

"It's just like shooting Womp Rats back in Tatooine!" The Jedi said.

He fires but the highly charged blast missed, hitting only hitting the wall underneath the window instead. Luke then fires again, this time hitting its mark as the laser burns through the helmet. The son of Darth Vader fires several times, but only one shot was able to hit the torso as it singed through.

For the Correllian smuggler, he walks up to the firing range with the E-11 Blaster with the targets wearing ODST armor.

"I always did shoot better than the kid." Han joked just before firing. The lasers struck each of the targets multiple times leaving behind the sounds of blaster fire and wafts of smoke in its path.

After Han finishes firing, the team checked the damage. All targets were hit after the armor was removed, and each wound left behind a third degree burn all the way through, leaving a burning, charred hole where the flesh and bone used to be. But only three out of five were considered dead.

_Narrator_: _Since the ODST fought enemies with Plasma weapons, the armor was vastly improved in comparison to their front line Marine counterparts. Thus edge belongs to the ODST with better weapons and armor._

Edge: ODST

_Narrator: Next was Explosives starting with the M9 Fragmentation Grenade._

Sergeant Avery walks up to a Plexiglas house filled with five dummies with shock wave patches applied to them.

The Gung-ho marine presses a button and throws the grenade into the opening like a basketball hoop. After running away, the grenade finally detonated after five seconds with a large BOOM!

Three of the dummies are burned and torn badly, with missing limbs, and the last two are covered in various shrapnel ridden their torsos.

"Just like flushing out the Grunts in Reach." Avery said with a chuckle.

_Narrator:_ _Now, Han Solo returns the favor with the Thermal Detonator._

"What gives this Thermal Detonator a bigger advantage is that it will literally bring a bigger bang for your buck." The smuggler said, "What's even better is that you can adjust your own timing compare with the older grenades, and it has its own code so that enemy troops can't use it."

"Well you talked the talk, now show us that you can also walk the walk." Sergeant Avery said skeptically.

"My pleasure Sarge." Han said with a sarcastic emphasis on "Sarge" as he walked to a new Plexiglas house with five new dummies.

As he lobbed the white cylinder over, everyone ran to safety. After six seconds, the result was even bigger explosion then the grenade with an even bigger BOOM! And when the close was finally cleared, parts of the dummies were laid about the testing area. There was no need to inspect the damage as they were nearly vaporized from the blast!

_Narrator: The higher blast radius, there own security codes, and the ability to adjust the timing have given the Thermal Detonator the edge._

Edge: Stormtroopers

_Narrator: Next is Close Range, with the Combat Knife…_

Master Chief walks up to the closest thing to a human, a pig carcass. After he brandishes the blade, he immediately begins to stab mercilessly on the porcine target, and entrails starts to spill to the floor. He then becomes more like a professional butcher than a professional soldier, the meat was cut through from the rib bones as the pig eventually got severed in half, and the lower half fell with a plop. Finally, he walks away a few feet, and throws the knife straight to the throat.

"Maybe I should've been a butcher instead." The SPARTAN joked.

_Narrator: Next, Luke brings in the Vibroblade_

"It's not exactly like the Lightsaber, but it'll do its job well." The Jedi said as he walks to another pig carcass and presses the button on the blade's hilt, causing it to vibrate.

Luke then lunges and drives the blade into the pig's carcass. The carcass actually begins to vibrate as the blade hums and cuts through the flesh like butter. He dissects the pig as fake blood spills to the floor.

As Doctor Dorian examines the internal damage, the blade has made a bigger incision than the combat knife, and the vibration has disrupted the vital organs for a kill.

"This blade is scary as hell, and if being stabbed isn't bad enough, the vibration will make the wound bigger, and will cause mass internal trauma." He said.

_Narrator: The internal damage has given the Edge to the Stormtroopers and their Vibroblade_

Edge: Stormtroopers

_Narrator: Finally, for the Mid Range testing, Team Stormtrooper brought two weapons, The SE-14r Repeating Blaster and the DLT-19 Heavy Blaster Rifle. _

Han brings up to a shooting range of six moving dummies heading straight towards him, even though the cumbersome carrying has made the once speedy captain more sluggish.

As he fires, a long beam emitted from the gun's barrel with a loud humming shriek. Each blast destroyed the dummies dead of their tracks. When the damage was checked, every torso has a smoking, burnt hole in their center.

"The ODST guys are basically sitting bantha!" The Rebel captain announced boastfully.

Next was Luke's turn with the official sidearm of the Imperial Fleet. This time, the shooting range targets wore ODST armor. When his time started, he strafes through, and blasts the moving dummies. Rapid lasers fired out, humming and screeching as it goes.

But after the Jedi master finishes firing, only 3 are dead, and the other three are wounded. The blaster pistol took several shots in order to penetrate the armor, and the recoil itself was so bad that most of the wounds only grazed the targets.

"I didn't have trouble blowing up a Death Star, but shooting a small target with this pistol?" Luke said bewilderedly. "No wonder they couldn't hit us."

_Narrator: The UNSC has its turn with the M90 Shotgun and the M6S Pistol. _

Master Chief walks in closer to get a better range with the shotgun, much closer than the Heavy Blaster. But the closer range was made up with the result that was devastating; the shotgun pellets hit two of the targets with a kill each. And every target was struck several times leaving a gaping wound. The dummies began to leak blood as every thunderous blast torn them apart, and in quicker time than the cumbersome Heavy Rifle.

"Target destroyed." John-117 said.

Next Sergeant Avery then walks up to the shooting range where Luke was, this time the targets are wearing Stormtrooper armor.

As he storms through, he pops a target several times in the chest. All the shots penetrated through the armor, and Johnson then looked through the scope, giving a headshot to the helmet on one of the targets. Fake blood spews as proof, and continues to fire after quickly reloading. After he is finished, Sergeant Johnson rewards himself with a cigar.

"Semper Fi." He said before lighting up.

All targets were not only hit, but also all confirmed kills. The pistol is more accurate and damaging than the blaster could be, and with less shots to deal with.

_Narrator: Despite the longer range of the Heavy Blaster, it was rather heavy to carry compared to the shotgun, and the unruly recoil of the Repeating Blaster puts the user in danger as well. Because of this, Edge goes to ODST and their mid range weapons._

Edge: ODST

_Narrator: Testing is now complete; it is time to who is more superior. We now upload the data gathered from the tests into a battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studios. To avoid a lucky shot, we will simulate the battle a thousand times to a duel to the death of the two teams._

_The battle between opposites: One battles for survival of their race while the other side follows their duties for their dark emperor._

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

Simulation: Six HEVs crash-landed into a desert planet. All six of the hatches hummed, and opened up six soldiers clad in black armor. Unknown where or what they're at, the squad of ODST huddled together, and marched quietly.

Meanwhile, at a small outpost not far away, the Imperial Sniper sees the ODST spoke to his commander.

"Sir, there's six unknown individuals going towards us." The Sniper reported, "They don't appear to be Rebels though."

"Fire at them anyway," the Imperial Commander ordered. "It could be a scouting party in a disguise."

The Imperial Sniper quietly nods and fires on his DLT-20A Blaster Rifle, but the blast only took out a nearby rock where the ODST commander was.

"Everyone take cover!" The ODST commander barked. "Someone take out that sniper!"

"It can't be a Jackal though, their shots aren't that bad." The ODST Sniper said to his superior as he prepares his AMB Sniper Rifle.

The black armored squad continues to take cover as the laser bolts keep missing their mark. Hitting the sand and rocks instead.

Finally, the more competent sniper was able to find his target, and fires a single, accurate shot. The bullet hummed through until it hit the Imperial Sniper between the helmeted eyes.

ODST: 6

Stormtroopers: 5

The Imperial commander dodged the incoming shots, and went downstairs to prepare his remaining men for battle.

After preparing for cover and readying the weapons, the outpost door busted in as if on time. The Heavy Blaster wielding trooper was first to fire and hit the ODST sniper square in the chest, the laser pierced through his armor, and dies seconds later.

ODST: 5

Stormtroopers: 5

The five remaining members took cover by the door and the wall, but one shotgunner of the group fires back, and hit the Heavy Blaster trooper as he flies back with a thud lifeless.

ODST: 5

Stormtroopers: 4

This signaled for the rest of the ODST to come forward while strafing, and firing at the same time. Forcing the white clad troopers to take cover, but one of the Imperial troopers spots one ODST member trying to flank him. So, the Imperial trooper and his colleagues rained down on him with blaster fire, killing the flanking marine.

ODST: 4

Stormtroopers: 4

The four remaining marines saw this, and returned fired as well, killing their killer with a hail of bullets and buckshot. The trooper's white chest became red with blood as he fells to the ground dead.

ODST: 4

Stormtroopers: 3

The trio of troopers retreated through the back door but not before leaving behind a Thermal Detonator behind them. The four ODST members followed pursuit, but the Thermal Detonator went off, killing the shotgun user as he flew and hit in the ground dead. One member survived the blast but now had a piece of shrapnel lodged into him.

ODST: 3

Stormtroopers: 3

Outside in a middle of a desert, the ODST caught up with the retreating stormtroopers. Unfortunately, the Imperial troopers saw this as well, and opened fired at them. The ODST trio quickly hit the ground for cover. While on the ground, one marine volunteered to throw the grenade while the commander and the wounded ODST provide covering fire.

The Stormtroopers were too busy to notice that a grenade is being tossed towards them until it was too late, the Stormtrooper commander spots this, and drags one of his men out of the blast radius. And as for the other trooper, the last thing he heard was a KABOOM! He now came down to the ground as a smoldering corpse.

ODST: 3

Stormtroopers: 2

The trooper commander and his last man fired upon the ODST grenadier with their repeating blasters, killing the marine as he falls dead.

ODST: 2

Stormtroopers: 2

The last two ODST charged forward, as they fired their own pistols at them. But the wounded ODST limped along, leaving him as an easy target. The two Stormtroopers ended his misery by riddling his body with laser fire.

ODST: 1

Stormtroopers: 2

The ODST commander snatches a spare Combat Knife from the fallen comrade, and throws the knife into the Stormtrooper's hand causing him to drop his pistol in pain. The ODST commander then returns fire with the pistol's scope, one shooting out the pistol from the Stormtrooper commander's hands, and three bullets struck the other trooper. Two hit the trooper in the chest, and the last one hit him in the head as he plops to the ground dead.

ODST: 1

Stormtrooper: 1

After running out of ammunition, the remaining commanders unsheathed their knives and they both lunged in for the strike. The Stormtrooper Commander barely kept up with the superior training of the ODST commander as the latter lunges and dodging his slashes by rolling away like a pill bug. Eventually, the Vibroblade struck the ODST commander deep in the forearm and winced in pain as the vibrating blade creates bigger wounds lodged into the arm. But the ODST commander quickly retaliated, ignoring the pain, and grabbing his arm, and shoulder throwing him down to the ground. Eventually, the Stormtrooper Commander got a lucky strike as he kicked the charging ODST commander, sending the latter to land on its back with a thud. The Imperial Stormtrooper got up and is about to finish the battle once and for all, as he walks over to the lying ODST commander. But when he removes the helmet off the ODST commander, he was in a surprise.

"You're a woman?" The Stormtrooper said with a surprised look concealed behind his helmet.

The ODST commander was a young woman with blue eyes and a blonde ponytail but with fiery determination in her eyes. She then said to him…

"That's right, and I'm the last one you're about to see alive!"

She throws her knife into the stormtrooper's chest piercing the armor, making the trooper fell to his knees. He can only groan and watch as she pulls the knife off his chest, and pierces the knife into his throat.

The Stormtrooper gurgled as blood trickling down stains the white armor, the muffled gurgling was the last thing he did before he dies.

Victorious in her battle, the ODST commander roars to the skies…

"ODST!"

**Winner: ODST**

_Narrator: Of the 1000 battles, the Orbital Drop Shock Troopers won the battle with 717 kills with their Assault Rifle as their highest at 472. The Imperial Stormtrooper won 264 of their battles with their E-11 Blaster Rifle at 175. Despite the advanced weaponry and equipment of the Imperial Fleet, they are still frontline soldiers who can't shoot a broad side of a barn. While the ODST are highly trained marines dedicated to fight in the battlefield first and are used to battling enemies with advanced weapons of the Covenant. They are also one of the best warriors the UNSC has to offer second to the SPARTANS. _

**Stormtrooper's kills: 264**

Vibroblade: 3

Light Repeating Blaster: 8

Heavy Blaster Rifle: 11

E-11 Blaster Rifle: 175

DLT-20A Blaster Rifle: 47

Thermal Detonator: 20

**ODST's kills: 717**

Combat Knife: 6

M6S Pistol: 20

M90 Shotgun: 92

MA5C Assault Rifle: 472

AMB Sniper Rifle: 120

M9 Grenade: 7

The teammates commented on the outcome of the ODST victory.

"I shouldn't be upset that the Stormtroopers lost." Han said admitting his defeat. "Too bad, I lost the bed to Lando."

"If the ODST was on our side, we would've destroyed the Empire long ago." Luke said in an impressed tone.

"ODST won, plain and simple is that such a surprise?" The Spartan asked.

"Ooh-rah! It takes more than those plastic assed dummies to beat us!" Avery Johnson barked as he puffs out cigar smoke.

The end!

_(Show's the recording of the female leader yelling "ODST!")_

Author's note: If you're mad that your favorite character lost, then tough crap. I said it's for entertainment and I'll repeat it again and again. Please note that I don't play much Halo games myself, so forgive me for any misinformation, or if the Halo characters are OOC. I got them all down in Halopedia

Anyone interested for me making more fight requests. Just comment away! Details are now in my profile. Criticisms are accepted as long as they are CONSTRUCTIVE. Meaning tell me why you don't like about it or what I need to improve. (But if you're a fan and still got pissed despite the warnings earlier, then you're an idiot.)


	8. Darkwing Duck Vs Duck Dodgers

_**Deadliest Cartoon Character: Chapter 8**_

_Disclaimer: I neither own any cartoon characters nor Spike TV's hit "The Deadliest Warrior" This is just for pure entertainment and not to be taken seriously…_

_Note: Sorry for the long hiatus, I was stricken with College Work and general laziness. As a LATE Happy New Year, a Happy Valentines, and a Birthday Gift for yours truly: here's the 8th chapter!_

_Narrator: Darkwing Duck, vigilante hero of Saint Canard, and the terror that flaps in the night._

(We see Darkwing Duck clashing with several street thugs in the streets of St. Canard. As all the thugs tried to tackle him at the same time, Darkwing Duck suddenly performs a spin kick knocking all of them down.)

_Narrator: Duck Dodgers, a captain of the Galactic Protectorate, self-proclaimed 21st century hero, and one lucky duck.)_

(Duck Dodgers is shown practicing his nunchucks and destroyed one Martian Centurion robot that was sneaking up behind him, not knowing the wiser didn't even noticed, until one of the sticks smacks him in the face. )

Both heroes have egos larger than a planet, and they're both…ducks.

(A split screen shows the two said ducks gloating over their accomplishments.)

_Narrator: WHO…IS…THE…DEADLIEST?_

(The two are seen fighting each other in a middle of the city streets. Darkwing Duck dodges laser blasts as Dodgers in return, charging at him with a flying kick.)

Narrator: even with the battle between egos, there are still no rules any mercy only on.

_**DEADLIEST CARTOON CHARACTER**_

The scene now shows inside building where sounds of fighting are heard. Various weapons, targets, and animal carcasses are displayed along with some high tech looking gear.

Narrator: _The Fight Club: a_ _remote place in California where we've assembled doctors, scientists, and combat experts. They are here to decide who would win a battle between two duck related heroes…_

**Darkwing Duck's Stats:**  
First year of appearance: September 8, 1991  
Episode name: Darkly Dawns the Duck

Owned by: The Walt Disney Company  
Creator: Tad Stones  
Voice Actor: Jim Cummings

Narrator:_ And Duck Dodgers_

Duck Dodgers' Stats:  
First year of appearance: August 23, 2003  
Episode name: The Trial of Duck Dodgers  
Owned by: Cartoon Network  
Creator: Tex Avery and Bob Clampett (Offically)  
Voice Actor: Joe Alaskey

the teams brought in to test the weapons are their very own sidekicks and allies.

For Team Darkwing brings Launchpad McQuack, Darkwing Duck's personal pilot and sidekick and Gosalyn Mallard.

"DW can win this fight in no time flat." Launchpad said. "He's got us for his support!"

After saying so, he leans on a near by table but his weight cause the table to collapse, and the contents including himself fell over.

"Err, I meant to do that."

"My dad fought the Fearsome Five and won," the spunky little girl said. "He can defeat that knock-off!"

For Team Dodgers, there's The Eager Young Space Cadet who is Dodger's personal (competent) assistant and the leader of the Martian military, Martian Commander X-2. Despite being bitter enemies, the Martian commander has agreed to represent over the current truce between the Martian Empire and the Earth Protectorate.

"I've only come here to proof that Dodgers is a bigger menace to the Martian Empire than that other billed avian." The commander boasted. "The oaf managed to defeat the Martian army several times, and it made me angry, very angry indeed."

"There are r-r-r-rare times where Dodgers actually w-w-w-won." The Space Cadet said. "He can win the fight without my h-h-h-h-h- assistance."

After recovering from sudden illnesses, biomedical scientist Geoff Desmoulin and computer programmer Max Geiger has returned to host Deadliest Warrior along with ER specialist Doctor Armand Dorian.

"I'm going to give the edge to Darkwing Duck," Geoff said. "He's an icon of Disney during the early 90s and defeated supervillains despite having no powers himself."

"I'll go with Duck Dodgers, he's been around longer if you included the Chuck Jones' shorts." Max said. "Daffy gave me laughs when I was a kid, and everyone else who were once kids."

Narrator: The teams gathered four of the ducks' signature weapons…

**Darkwing Duck's weapons:**

Martial Arts

Grappling Hook

Gas Gun

Thunderquack Jet

**Duck Dodger's weapons:**

Nunchakus

Jetpack

Laser Pistol

Green Lantern Ring

_Narrator: Testing for long-range weapon is Darkwing Duck's signature weapon. The Gas Gun_

"This is my dad's gas gun." Gosalyn said as she walks into the shooting range. "Not only it fires smoke gas pellets, but it also shoots boxing gloves, tear gas, and anything you name it. It's there."

"Now aren't you too young to be playing with firearms young lady?" X-2 asked.

"Well, aren't you supposed to be a bitter enemy of Dodgers?" she asked back.

"Touche."

At the shooting range, three targets are dressed like F.O.W.L soldiers to give the tomboy a motivation.

"Are you ready?" Geoff Desmoulin barked at the girl.

"Yes I am!"

"3…2….1! LET HER RIP!"

Gosoyln open fires a boxing glove that struck one of the dummies in the jaw, she quickly reloads and fires a gas round that engulfs the area in harmless smoke. As Launchpad and the crew cheers her on as Gosolyn fires another boxing glove, striking the second dummy in the head with enough force to crack the helmet. Finally, she fires off a grappling hook that latches onto the third and last dummy onto the back. With enough effort and sudden show of strength, she was able to rip off the dummy's back with a painful sounding tear as fake blood oozes to the floor.

"Man, you are the girl!" Geoff congratulated her with a high five. "Remind me not to piss you off!"

"Yep-yep-yep, you can say I can take it from him." She said in a boastful tone similar to her adoptive father's.

"The camera shows that the velocity of each projectile fired has the same speed of a bullet fired from a 9mm handgun." Max informed. "Good things come in small packages, and this is a winning example."

"Don't celebrate yet guys." Dr. Dorian announced after examining the targets. "The first one hit by Gosolyn has his jaw shattered and even though he can't be eating solid food for awhile, it's not a kill."

The girl's smile suddenly dropped into disbelief after hearing this, as he show them the last two targets. When they opened up the cracked helmet, the target was alive.

"According to the data, the PSI shows that even though it was enough to crack the helmet, it wasn't enough for a kill." Geoff said disappointedly. "Now, the guy is hurt from the whiplash but we're here for a kill."

For the third target, no explanation is necessary.

"Now this is an obvious kill," Doctor Dorian said. "You basically torn off the flesh from the guy's back, and he'll be bleed to death in seconds, minutes if he's unlucky."

"Still, you got to admit all the neat things it can do." Gosolyn defended, "when I fired the gas pellet, dad can escape, capture, or even go in for the kill."

_Narrator: Next, is Team Dodgers with the Laser Pistol..._

X-2 steps onto the shooting range, this time the targets are three deactivated Martian Centurions.

"This is the Standard Issue for the Earth Protectorate, it's not as powerful as my Martian weapons but it does get their tasks done."

When, the commander steps into the range with the weapon charged. Geoff enthusiastic as ever barks out. "Are you ready?"

"Affirmative!"

"3…2…1…EXTERMINATE!"

The alien fired a plasma beam that hummed across the range until it completely incinerated the robot into pile of ashes. Geoff and Max howled in excitement as the Martian fired two more shots each with the same result.

Doctor Dorian just said, "I don't think my expertise is needed here."

"Even though I like the Gas Gun since it can block the viewer's view from the smoke and does have potential to kill. I'll still go with the Laser Pistol for obvious reasons." Geoff declared.

"Agreed, edge goes to the laser pistol." Max said

Narrator:_ Despite the versatility of the Gas Gun, the Laser Pistol gets the edge for the better killing power._

**Edge: **Duck Dodgers

Narrator: Still optimistic in their battle, the saviour of Saint Canard brought in another weapon to fight crime…the Grappling Hook!

Launchpad steps into the testing area swinging with the grappling hook in hand. His target is the pig carcass, the closest thing to human flesh.

"Launchpad, are you ready?" Geoff asked as he turned the testing camera on.

"Ready as I'll ever be Geoff!" He answered as he put his pilot goggles on.

"Then, start hacking him up!"

At cue, the pilot dug into the pig deep with the hook's jagged claws. Blood begins to trickle out as Lauchpad struggles to pull it out, but was able to pull it out with enough effort. He continues to hack away several times with the same results as blood sprays all over him, when he's finally finished. Torn pieces of meat were hanging off the hook.

"Yuck, I need a new change of clothes…and shower…" Launchpad said to himself.

"Despite the efforts you need to pull it out, it shows you can kill with it." Geoff said. "It's almost the same as the episode of Somali Pirate vs the Medellin Cartel."

Footage shows the testing was very similar to the previous episode. But the team wasn't impressed, and neither was Max.

"You still need to remember that Launchpad also had the same struggles with the grappling hook as well, since it's meant to grapple not to kill." Max said.

"Affirmative," Martian Commander added. "We have something that is far superior."

Narrator: Next for Mid-Range weapons is the jetpack, standard issue for the Earth Protectorate.

The Eager Young Space Cadet straps the said jetpack outside, behind the launch area is the target strapped behind too close where the jetpack's exhaust ports are.

"Are you ready Cadet?" Geoff asked to the porcine assistant as the latter finishes strapping.

"R-r-r-ready!"

"3-2-1 Ignition!"

The pig zooms out of the sky as he soars like an eagle, and performs several tricks and stunts like loop-de-loops and doing a barrel roll. Suddenly, "The Daring Young Man On the Flying Trapeze" starts playing as Eager Young Space Cadet imitates a synchronized swimmer. As he finally landed, Geoff and Max congratulated him for his effort.

"That's amazing what you can do with the jetpack, since it's so portable and quick." Geoff said, "but let's look to our poor friend who got too close."

The target, or what remains of it, was burnt to a crisp.

"Now, this is a definite kill as the exhaust incinerated the whole front of the body." Doctor Dorian said as he show's the high-speed camera footage. "This is the most excruciating way to die.

"I'll admit, it's a neat gadget but my dad's smart enough not to get too close behind a jetpack…" Gosalyn reminded them. "Sometimes.."

"I hate to say it but she's right." Doctor Dorian agreed. "While the jetpack can kill, the grappling hook can kill at a better chance of killing, and you don't have to be behind a jetpack."

"Even though I still think he jetpack is a neat tool to escape and all, but we're here for a kill." Geoff said getting back to business. "And I don't think DW is dumb enough to get caught by the exhaust."

"Even when pigs do fly, the edge goes to the grappling hook." Max added.

Narrator: _Even though the jetpack's afterburner will provide nasty burns, the grappling hook gets the edge for its simplicity and better chances of killing._

**Edge: **Darkwing Duck

Narrator: _For close range combat, bought in two different specialities. Darkwing Duck is a master martial artist and Duck Dodgers with his Laser Nunchucks, the descendant of the wooden flail from Okinawa._

The Eager Young Space Cadet walks up to a ballistic gel torso wielding the Laser Nunchucks.

"This h-h-h-here's the s-s-s-standard issue Nunchucks that D-d-d-dodgers used." He explained to the crew. "I'm p-p-p-pretty g-g-g-g-goo' talented myself."

"Well, can you give us a demonstration to that torso if you will?" Geoff asked.

The pig simply nods instead of stammering, and within a moment of silence, he let out a loud KIAI! As he continuously beats the torso silly, pieces of gel starts flying as the glowing sticks strike with a painful sounding blow. When he finally finished, the whole torso was a bleeding mess. The chest shows that several of the ribs are broken, the jaw is shattered with several teeth missing, and skull is completely cracked.

"That was awesome!" Geoff roared excitedly "You taught that gel torso a lesson he'll never forget!"

"Shucks, it's was n-n-nothing." The pig replied humbly.

"Unlike the Yakuza's nunchucks which took several strikes to crack the skull, you were able to crack the skull in a single blow." Max said while showing everyone the high-speed footage in painful slow-mo. "Unlike its wooden ancestor, the laser model was hardened to lethality and the chain's rotational speed has increased to maximum proficiency."

"As you can see the cracked ribs can rupture the internal organs such as the heart and lungs," Dr. Dorian said while examining the wounds. "But you took one step further with the shattering of the jaw, and topped it off with the cracking of the skull. Sad to say, the guy will be dying of the worst headache of his life."

"And all in under 20 seconds I might add." The Martian Commander added.

"Well, my dad doesn't need a weapon to stop the bad guys." Gosalyn boasted. "His body is already the weapon he needs."

"So, can you show us his moves?" Max asked.

"Sure, my dad taught me some of his fighting skills over the time." She said enthusiastically.

Narrator: _Team Darkwing brought Martial Arts to the picture, to show that a true warrior fights with no weapon._

Gosalyn then walks up to a training dummy while wearing special gloves and boots that'll give the little girl strength of Darkwing Duck himself.

"Alright Gosalyn, the testing dummy is strapped with sensors that'll tell how much PSI you're doing to it." Geoff explained. "I want you to tear the dummy up, so are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be!"

"Then beat the stuffing out him!"

The girl begins to pummel the dummy with lightening speed punches and kicks; Launchpad cheers her on as the crew howls in excitement on how well Gosalyn was taught. Then, pint-size fighter was able the throw the larger dummy over her shoulder, and lands on its chest while continuingly punching savagely in the face. Finally, Gosalyn finishes off with another throw ending with a loud thud.

"Amazing! You were brutal out there." Geoff said. "According to the data, the gloves that gives you his strength has the same PSI as a Black Belt in Karate."

"Take a look at this high-speed footage," Max added clocking the time. "Not only were you able to strong, but you were quick too, about 14 meters per second."

"That's the same amount of punching speed as Chuck Liddell when he tested for the gladiator." Geoff said with amazement. "DW may act like a moron at times but his punches can break most facial bones on contact."

When Doctor Dorian checked the wounds, the news was revealed.

"The guy is dead, the beatings were too much for him." He announced. "Broken bones, depressed skulls, and simple head trauma."

"But look at the time it took to finish him off." The Martian Commander pointed out. "According to your data the nunchucks has killed the opponent in less than 20 seconds, but the fists took a full minute."

After going through the analysis, he was correct…

"Hate to disappoint you kid, but he's right." Max said regrettably to the equally disappointed girl. "But speed wins in close-range, so the edge goes to the Nunchucks."

Narrator: _Edge goes to Duck Dodger's Nunchucks over the quicker ability to kill than simple fists._

**Edge:** Duck Dodgers

Narrator: _Hoping to win the final edge, Team Darkwing Duck brought his iconic vehicle. The Thunderquack Jet designed by Launchpad himself. It soars through the skies of Saint Canard in Darkwing's image._

In an airfield, Launchpad enters the Duckbill shaped jet-plane, and took off immediately after Geoff gave the signal. While soaring through the sky, radio controlled airplanes appeared out of nowhere, and assumed chase. Meanwhile Launchpad skilfully turn the plane around and fired upon the enemy aircraft, shooting down one by one using the jet's missiles, destroying all of them in oblivion.

Three more enemy planes came behind him, but before they can counter attack. The Thunderquack barrel rolled away from the enemy gunfire and destroyed all of them with the jet's auto cannon. Flaming wreckage crashed into the barren earth as the flying duckbill is the sole ruler of the sky.

Geoff and Max hooted excitedly at the pilot's skills and the destruction of the enemy aircraft.

After the one-sided dogfight, Launchpad landed the jet…not so safely, as the Thunderquack narrowly hits the people in the ground before nearly crashing into a radio tower by a mere inch…but luckily for the cast and crew, no one was hurt aside the jet's scratches.

"Err, I was meant to do that." The pilot responded sheepishly.

"Well, not counting losing our lives in the process the jet has the same speed and firepower of the F-22 Raptor at a Mach 2.25 (1550 mph) at altitude." Max said while showing them the computer. "In other words, it's really, really fast and really, really powerful."

"I'll admit, the earth aircraft is an impressive weapon." Marvin said with an approving nod. "Very impressive indeed, but we have something else literally and figuratively in our sleeves.

Narrator: Team Dodgers has brought in a special guest, none other than Hal Jordan, the Green Lantern of Earth.

"The Green Lantern Corps has given me permission to test out the ring." Hal Jordan said. "But instead of boring you all with a lecture, I'll show the ring's power to you."

Hal flew through the air in a same pose as a certain colleague from Krypton. While floating in the blue sky, three planes sent out to defeat the Green Lantern. But before the aircraft can attack, the Green Lantern fires out a green beam of light from his trademark ring. One of the planes was caught in a green bubble emanating from the ring, and in a single swing, Hal swung his arm like a tennis racquet swatting the remaining two down before crashing into the earth.

Three more planes flew behind him firing away, but Hal blocked the gunfire away by forming a green wall before catching all three of them encasing them in a green bubble. The green orb suddenly shrinks smaller and smaller before crushing the planes, imploding safely inside the tiny green bubble.

As the Green Lantern descended down to earth, the team cheered for the Green Lantern.

"Now that's a superpower, not only you can almost do anything with the ring but you can defend yourself with it." Geoff said.

"The ring is sweet and all, but we can still out fly you away." Gosalyn reminded them. "Dad fought guys with superpowers before and he can defeat them again."

"But we can still c-c-c-c-catch you when we s-s-s-spot you." The Space Cadet defended.

"It's tough to decide to call an edge for this one." Geoff announced. "Granted the Tunderquack shows cababilities to kill but so did the Green Lantern Ring."

Narrator: Both the Thunderquack and the Green Lantern Ring has shown equal versatility, so neither one gets the edge.

**Edge:** Even

Narrator: _Testing is now complete; it is time to who is more superior. We now upload the data gathered from the tests into a battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studios. To avoid a lucky shot, we will simulate the battle a thousand times on a battle between the two ducks._

"Both have big egos and big weapons," Max Geiger said. "Now it's time to show who's the deadliest warrior."

Max presses the button to start and the Simulation begins.

**Simulation**: Duck Dodgers was wandering in the abandoned city streets, patrolling by himself from the orders of the Galactic Protectorate when a purple smoke appeared out of nowhere.

"What in heck's name is going on?" Dodgers muttered to himself as a voice is heard while the smoke is clearing away.

"I am the terror that flaps in the night, I am the geek who keeps sending you Spam! I am Darkwing Duck!"

"And I don't care who you are bub." Dodgers said rolling his eyes. "But by the way you're dressed, I say you're a thief, and a bad one I might add since you're calling out your presence."

"Uh no you're not!" Darkwing snapped, insulted by Dodgers' banter. "First off you've not heard of me and accuse me of a thief but now you're insulting my signature entry?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, if it's a fight you want then so be it!"

Darkwing Duck aimed his gas gun and fired a canister towards the black bird. Dodgers in turn, fired back with his Laser Pistol as Darkwing Duck falls back. The canister that Darkwing fired previously released tear gas, causing Duck Dodgers into a coughing and gagging fit. Dodgers began to fire wilding away his pistol hoping to get a lucky shot, and were soon able to escape from the gas cloud. But once he escaped from the cloud he then encountered Darkwing Duck firing out a boxing glove, knocking out his pistol.

Duck Dodgers then pulled out his laser nunchucks and spin wildly while charging towards Darkwing Duck who was too busy reloading his gas gun. By the time the hero of Saint Canard has finished, the Gas Gun was destroyed out of his hands. He was able to back flip away from the spinning laser sticks and was able to keep up until Dodgers got lucky and struck DW in the temple. Dazed but not out, Saint Canard's hero side-sweeps Dodgers' feet making him trip. But as DW charges toward Dodgers, the Galactic Protector hits Darkwing Duck in the shin.

Darkwing hops away in pain but manages to punch Dodgers in the stomach, keeling him over in pain. Followed by a powerful kick in the bill that sends the black duck flying. Duck Dodger begins to frantically run over to pick up his laser pistol, Darkwing Duck spotted this and pulls out his grappling hook. The caped mallard swung and threw the hook towards the black duck, latching him against his heels. Even though the penetration wasn't deep, it was still enough for Dodgers to yelp in pain. As Darkwing Duck pulled Duck Dodgers to his direction, the latter begins to the cling to the asphalt for his dear life as claw marks formed.

But when Darkwing Duck reeled him in however, he was in a surprise waiting for him. Duck Dodgers hid his gun the whole time, and open fired three times. The first shot went through his fedora hat, leaving a noticeable mark in the middle, as DW was lucky that his head barely missed. With the second shot grazed his right shoulder causing him to hiss in pain, and the third and final shot cut the hook's rope off. Dodgers aimed at Darkwing Duck and pulled the trigger once more but only hear a deafening "click" instead.

Duck Dodgers began to face away from Darkwing Duck and starts his jetpack; the exhaust lets a roar of flames behind the Saint Canard defender as he barely rolls away in time. He realized the cape was on fire and continues to roll away to extinguish the flames as he follows pursuit of the Galactic Protector.

"Let's get dangerous…" He said after picking himself up.

Thinking he gotten away, Dodgers let out a sigh of relief as he slowed the jetpack down. His soaring away peacefully was short lived however as he looked behind a purple jet shaped like a grimacing Duck's face screaming towards him. Panicking, Duck Dodgers tried to do a barrel roll only for the Thunderquack to barrel roll back. Despite the countless, fruitless attempts to perform evasive action, the jet keep getting closer as the jet's guns fired upon him as. One of the bullets was able to hit the jetpack's engine, causing the hero of 24½ century to spiral out of control.

He begins to scream and shout, as anyone will do when they lose control before luckily crash landing into a pile of soft dirt. To his convenience he saw his own ship and stumbled towards his ship hoping to find in trump card in time. Duck Dodgers managed to climb into his ship and was able to pick up the Green Lantern's ring along with its lantern. With no time to lose, Dodgers begins to recite the Green Lantern Oath…

"In blackest day, in brightest night…watermelon cantaloupe...err, yadda yadda…err superstitious and cowardly lot with liberty and justice for all."

Meanwhile, Darkwing Duck believed that he won begins to lay back in victory before he spotted the ship as he guessed correctly that it belonged to his opponent from the 24½ Century. Thinking that it'll contain some useful weapons and equipment for his future to fight crime. DW dived closer for a landing but unknownst to him, a green bubble engulfs the jet all the sudden. The said green bubble emanating from the ring of the Green Lantern Dodgers, before Darkwing Duck even had a thought of escaping or even surviving, Dodgers slams the Thunderquack down exploding on contact. Fire and debris rains from the wreckage of the grimacing metal duck's face.

Realizing that he killed his opponent, Dodgers begin to yell a victorious "Woo-hoo!" and flies off.

**Winner: Duck Dodgers**

Narrator: Out of a thousand battles, Duck Dodgers had won the 652 of the kills with the laser pistol at 341 kills while the Darkwing Duck only won with 348 with the Thunderquack jet at 300 kills. This is due to the fact that despite Dodgers' incompetence, most of his weapons give guarantee kills. While Darkwing Duck can be a fearsome opponent when getting dangerous, most of his weapons only subdue or injure at best.

**Darkwing Duck's kills: 348**

Martial Arts: 3

Grappling Hook: 5

Gas Gun: 39

Thunderquack: 300

** Duck Dodgers' kills: 652**

Nunchakus: 9

Jetpack: 2

Laser Pistol: 341

Green Lantern Ring: 300

Discussion at the fight club, the teams talked about the results…

"Even though Darkwing Duck is a great fighter, his weapons meant to subdue, and not kill." Geoff said from the results. "I'm not surprised if even someone like Dodgers with weapons that kill will win."

"I was quite surprised that Dodgers won," The Martian Commander said. "He is full of surprises, full of surprises indeed."

"Bah, Dodgers got lucky!" Gosayln muttered bitterly. "He's only lucky because of his ring and we'll show him next time when we'll bring the Justice Ducks around!"

The end!

Next battle: reader's choice of the next battle:

The Locust Horde vs The Chimera

Or

Sector V of Codename: Kids Next Door Vs The Brotherhood of Mutants of X-men Evolution.

Author's note: If you're mad that your favourite character lost, then tough crap. I said it's for entertainment and I'll repeat it again and again.

Anyone interested for me making more fight requests. Just comment away! Criticisms are accepted as long as they are CONSTRUCTIVE. Meaning tell me why you don't like about it (But if you're a fan and still got pissed despite the warnings earlier, then you're an idiot.) or what I need to improve


	9. Locust Horde Vs The Chimera

**Deadliest Cartoon Character: Chapter 9  
**  
_Disclaimer: I neither own any cartoon characters nor Spike TV's hit "The Deadliest Warrior" This is just for pure entertainment and not to be taken seriously…_

_ Narrator: The Locust Horde, the underground terrors that devastated the planet of Sera.  
_

(A tall and muscular reptilian humanoid with scaly skin and thick armour pops out of a hole in the city streets, gunning down many humans that are in its way.)  
_  
Narrator: The Chimera, the parasitic plague that engulfed Europe, and then the whole planet earth.)  
_  
(A pale, bald alien like creature with sharp fangs and six glowing, yellow eyes across its face shoots a British soldier in the chest in the ruined streets of England.)

_Narrator: bWHO…IS…THE…DEADLIEST?/b  
_  
(Two squads open fire upon each other in the open debris as both roar, snarl, and shriek out each other.)

Narrator: To find out, our world-class fighters are testing fiction's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we find out what would happen when the two warriors go toe-to-toe. No rules, no safety, and no mercy: It's a duel to the death to decide who is…

**THE DEADLIEST CARTOON CHARACTER**

The scene now shows inside building where sounds of fighting are heard. Various weapons, targets, and animal carcasses are displayed along with some high tech looking gear.

Narrator: _The Fight Club: a_ _remote place in California where we've assembled doctors, scientists, and combat experts. They are here to decide who would win a battle between the Locust Horde…_

Locust Horde's Stats:  
First year of appearance: November 7, 2006  
Appeared in: Gears of War

Allegiance: The Locust Queen

Owned by: Epic Games  
Creators: Tim Sweeny and Mark Rein

Narrator: _And The Chimera_

Chimera's Stats:  
First year of appearance: November 17, 2006  
Appeared in: Resistance: Fall of Man  
Allegiance: The Angels

Owned by: Insomniac Games  
Creator: Ted Price

the teams brought in to test the weapons are their very human enemies sworn to destroy.

(Two muscular men in metallic armour appeared with a gear symbol embodied in the center. In the symbol itself, there was a skull imprinted inside the gear. One of the two is Caucasian with a black goatee and a black do-rag in his head and the other is Hispanic with short black hair, and on his right arm is a tattoo of a woman called "Maria.")

For Team Locust Horde there's Sergeant Marcus Fenix and Corporal Dominic "Dom" Santiago.

"In our planet of Sera, we just finished the 79 year Pendulum War when the Locust struck." Fenix said while holding a crude rifle. "I don't know much about the Chimera but the Locust were planning the surprise attack for ages, the day when the Locust attack became known as 'Emergence Day.'"

"The Locust attacked from underground at every city around the planet, killing more than quarter of our population, and they're considered the lucky ones…compared to the people taken prison, like my wife Maria…" Dom said reluctantly. "If they were able to that to us, I don't know how the Chimera would par on those grubs."

(Two Caucasian men in black army uniforms are both holding a futuristic rifle, one is has a five o'clock shadow and a brown stubble on his chin, and the other one is taller than the other, and wears a toque. But the most distinctive feature is the yellow glow in the eyes of both the soldiers.)

For Team Chimera there's Lieutenant Nathan Hale and Corporal Joseph Cappeli.

"The Chimera emerged from Russia since the Tunguska Event back in 1908," Hale explained. "Unlike your timeline, Russia closed its borders, and we never had a second world war. But that changed when the Chimera engulfed Europe, they'll swarm the Locust like they did to us."

"They multiply by infecting humans before taking them into their conversion chambers." Joseph added. "But some of us grew resistant to the infection but leaves us with our signature yellow eyes. The locust will be infected before they get a chance to fight back."

The hosts of the team, Biomedical scientist Geoff Desmoulin and computer programmer Max Geiger alongwith ER specialist Doctor Armand Dorian guessed on who will win the battle.

"I'm going to give the edge to the Locust Horde Geoff said. "I've played Gears of War and the weapons the Locust carry devastate the battlefield of any terrain."

"I'll go with the Chimera." Max said who happens to own a Playstation 3. "They have more advanced weapons, better technology, and a trick or two up in their sleeves that'll catch their enemies off guard.

_Narrator: The teams gathered four of the creature's signature weapons…  
_  
**Locust Horde's weapons:**

Hammerburst Rifle

Torque Bow

Bolo Grenade

Boomshot Grenade Launcher

**Chimera's weapons:**

Bullseye Rifle

Augur

Hedgehog Grenade

Arc Charger

_Narrator: Testing for the Locust Horde is their signature weapon, the Hammerburst Rifle. _

"This is one of the first weapons I used when Dom broke me out of prison." Marcus explained as he shown the crew the assault rifle. "It fires a six round burst in a seventy-eight round magazine."

"I noticed that there's no rifle stalk in the Hammerburst." Max said pointing out the gun's features. "Is this the reason why it only fires in bursts?"

"Yep."

"Well, we're not here to point out the details of the weapons, we're here to test it out." Geoff said as he takes them out of the shooting range.

At the shooting range, the setting was to resemble a bombed out war zone with concrete walls and barbed wire spread throughout the field (Think Green Berets vs. Spetsnaz). Marcus prepares the rife as Geoff and Max prepares the six targets designed to look like the Chimera Hybrids.

"Alright Fenix, the targets are remote controlled and you objective is to empty out your magazine while delivering many kills as you can." Geoff ordered.

"I'm ready as I'll ever be." Marcus answered.

"Then give them hell!"

Marcus zeroes in his first target out of the open and fires 3 bursts from the rifle, all of them hitting its mark in the torso area. As the crew and Dom hooted ecstatically when Marcus made his first kill, two more targets popped out from the concrete wall, and Fenix strafed along the targets' direction and plugged the targets with two bursts each. Two bursts in the chest and the last two in the head as fake brain matter and blood spilled like red jelly.

Targets four and five zoned from another concrete wall, this time behind Fenix. Marcus discovers this and pulls a rapid 180 and fires fours bursts. The first two bursts only shredded the rib areas of the targets but the last two bursts peppered the targets' faces.

The last target moved towards Marcus but before it can get close like its predecessors, Fenix fired the last two bursts in the stomach area. Fake blood spewed by the pints.

After the testing, Doctor Dorian checked the damages for results as he examined the damages the Hammerburst offered.

"Here's what I can tell you." Dr. Dorian announced after examining the targets. "The first one is obviously dead, now I don't know much about the anatomy of the Chimera but all the bullets struck the lungs, the hearts, and the spinal area. I've yet to see a living creature survive that many shots."

"A bit of an overkill don't you think Marcus?" Max asked jokingly to Fenix.

"When we fought the Locust Horde, we got to make sure they say dead." He replied. "We're not taking any chance with the Chimera."

"Targets two and three are also dead, both overkills from headshots and the center of mass." Dr. Dorian added. "But targets four and five got me a little worried as the center of mass shots only grazed them by the ribs, and they'll still die but only eventually if it weren't for the headshots."

For the last target, it's pretty clear for everyone that the last target is dead from the massive blood loss. But Team Chimera just gave disapproving looks as they shook their heads.

"Well, the Chimera aren't just going to waltz through like in the testing and the grazing aren't going to slow them down." Nathan informed his rival. "They'll open fire before you even get a second chance."

"And what's your weapon going to do that'll beat ours?" Dom asked folding his arms.

"Our weapon will guarantee on making its mark." Cappelli said.

_Narrator: Next, is Team Chimera with the Bullseye Rifle...  
_

Nathan Hale walks into the shooting range with new targets, and to up their ante, the new targets are donned in Locust armor.

"Alright Hale, are you ready?" Geoff asked.

Hale only nodded silently…

"Then shoot them up!"

Nathan opened fire on his first target, bolts of plasma hummed and pierced through the armor of the unfortunate target. Joseph and the crew cheered Nathan on as he fired the second and third targets with the same results as he kept his grip on the gun. But the true icing on the cake is when he reached his fourth target when he fired a single large bolt, and to the surprise of everyone including their rivals, the plasma bolts _followed _their target AND hitting their mark. The fifth target was tagged like its predecessor but only this time, Nathan aimed his gun upward, and the plasma bolts rained down on it like a spectacular light show. For the sixth and last target, Hale emptied his remaining ammo onto the unfortunate target.

"That was freaking amazing!" Geoff said with bewildered look on his face. "This is the first time on the history of the show where we have a weapon that actually seeks its opponent!"

"But that's not all," Max said while pointing the computer footage to the group. "It also shows that the rate of fire was much faster than the Hammerburst, and although the recoil is obviously shakier, the homing system makes it up for it."

"We'll admit it's an impressive toy," Marcus said. "But those Locust Grubs are smart enough not to stand around and get hit."

Doctor Dorian led the team and they examined the targets. After removing the armor to their amazement that they found out that the plasma bolts pierced through the plate. And he checked the first three targets.

"We can see the targets had been turned to Swiss Cheese thanks to the Bullseye." The surgeon announced. "There are more bullet holes with this gun than the Hammerburst, and even though the recoil was unsteady, Nathan managed to get his first three kills."

"But look at the wounds themselves," Dom pointed out. "They've been cauterized to prevent any bleeding deaths and the holes they've made are puny compared to our Hammerburst."

"True, but that's only because of the breastplate that the Locust Horde wears, and this amount of injuries burns throughout the vital areas."

After checking the last three targets, Doctor Dorian had this to say…

"Thanks to the tagging system to the Bullseye, the gun became more accurate into hitting it mark like targets four and five." He informed pointing the said area. "All the shots in both targets are located in the heart and lungs, making this a kill, and as for the last target…. well, do I need to repeat myself from the first three targets?"

"Then this is unanimous then," Max Geiger said with a smile. "Edge goes to the Chimera's Bullseye."

_Narrator: The homing capabilities of the Bullseye made its target for the edge in main rifles._

**Edge: Chimera**  
_  
Narrator: Still getting their literal edge into battle, Team Locust Horde brings in the sharp Torque Bow, The weapon of choice of the Locust Elite Theron Guards that shoots explosive arrows._

Dom walks up to a new shooting readying his bow. In the new shooting range, four torsos stand in as targets with a concrete wall in the background.

"The Torque Bow shoots an arrow made of explosive material called "Imulsion" which was once used to solve Sera's energy crisis but brought in the 79 year war." He said to Geoff and Max. "Nowadays, the Locust use them as deadly sneak attack, and the bow itself is sharpened for close ranged combat."

"Well, that's something we like to see." Max said. "Each target has a shock patch attached to their chest, if one of them goes out that means they're dead from the pressure wave."

Dom loads an arrow and the bow's laser pointer shines on the target's forehead. The arrow itself begins to noticeably…

"Are you ready?" Geoff called to the archer.

"Yeah" Dom replied.

"Then 3…2…1…UNLEASH HELL!"

The explosive charge was released and hit its mark in the torso, and only a half second later, a loud explosion erupts. Causing dust clouds surrounding the shooting range, and when the dust cleared, scattered pieces the targets are lain about with only two lucky torsos that are MOSTLY intact…

Geoff and Max howled in excitement over the carnage the bow has made.

"None of us expected the damage it can made nor how unbelievably accurate that was!" Geoff congratulated Dom as he offered a high-five.

"Here's a high-speed footage of the bow itself," Max showing the said recording. "What I liked about the Torque Bow, is the magnetic coil mechanism inside that gives the rotational force on the arrow. That's basic physics of learning kinetic energy and hence the name Torque."

"Enough of that science crap," Joseph snapped. "If you're saying the bow is fired inside, then what's the deal about the limbs that are on top of the barrel?"

"That, we'll show you soon." Dom replied while continue holding the weapon.

As they grew closer to the devastation, Doctor Dorian examined the "victims."

"It's obvious that the target that's been hit by the bow is dead, so there's no need to check on him." He said while checking on the other three. "Target two's dead too from the third degree burns and the shrapnel, target three only has minor burns but the shock patch is lit, so he's dead too, and finally target four is a lucky survivor since the patch isn't lit and only gotten minor scratches."

"See, that's one survivor." Cappelli challenged. "It took a long time to deliver a kill, which the Chimera can counteract if you miss."

Dom replies by finishing off the surviving torso with the bow's limbs, the bow's scythe blades shreds apart the foam and fake blood splatters his face. The crew laughs at the sheer havoc that he caused and cheers him on.

"Well, while that's out of the picture, here's our weapon that not even taking over will save." Nathan said as he picked up a different rifle. "This gun can bore through anything, including anything you Gears take cover at."

_Narrator: For stepping in the game, the Chimera team brought in the Auger Rifle, which can tunnel through and grew more powerful with each object that can tunnel through._

Joseph walks up to a new shooting range wielding the said rifle. In the range itself, four new targets took cover in a thick concrete wall high enough that only the targets' heads are peeking out in the open.

"Alright, what intrigues us is your claim that the Auger can tunnel through objects," Geoff said. "So we like to see you walk the talk by showing the gun's capabilities."

"That'll be my pleasure," the large man said as he loaded his weapon.

"Ready, aim, fire at will!"

Cappelli open fired a salvo of radiation hitting the concrete, and in Joseph's correct words, the salvos actually bore through the thick object before hitting their two marks, but this time did NOT pass through harmlessly. Each shot burns through the two armored torsos. He then turned to his next targets, firing the same amount of ammunition with the same results. All the shots hit their marks, the ones that tunneled through the concrete that is.

To see the results, the crew ventured closer to see the damage, and to team Chimera's delight, the armor not only failed to protect them but the torsos themselves are shot up to pieces. The wounds were all severe burns and the charred smell is there to prove it. The mayhem was obvious but Doctor Dorian nonetheless starts examining.

"Third degree burns all the way through of each target," Doctor Dorian announced. "This is one of the most painful weapons I can ever imagine, you'll literally feel the burn as it bores through you, and if it hits one of the vital areas then a quick death is the closest thing to relief."

"That's amazing, the concrete was unaffected at all but it managed to bore through and hit its mark." Max said with awe. "It's as if the ammo ignored non-living objects and hitting live ones!"

"Well, that's not all." Cappelli said with a grin. "It get more powerful as it goes through solid objects, and it can provide a small force field that lasts only a few seconds, but those few seconds can give you time to live."

"This is something we got to see." Geoff said with a fan boy-ish glee.

In a new firing range, the crew armed themselves with paintball guns to test the gun's shield capabilities. With everyone in a firing squad position, they all opened fire on Joseph who in turn, activated the Auger's shield. A rectangular force barrier popped out as the paintballs fail to penetrate, as only they only hitting the shield instead. But only after a few seconds, the shield begins to dissipate and the crew stopped firing.

"Well, we got to admit it's a good weapon but the shield only lasted a few seconds like you said," Marcus pointed out. "Plus, the shield's not big enough to protect the whole body, we can just simply flank around, or throw a grenade overboard."

"While that may be true Marcus," Max said. "But the shield can provide precious seconds to live and think of a strategy, and let's not forget it can bore through solid objects."

"That's right, only another Auger can go through the shields, and only the strongest metals can stop the gunfire." Nathan added.

"That's why we're giving the edge to the Auger." Geoff said.

_Narrator: The defensive capabilities and the ability to pass through most objects gave the Auger the edge._

**Edge: Chimera  
**

_Narrator: Next, the two teams will test the grenades, for the Locust Horde has the trademark Bolo Grenade and the Chimera, the lethal Hedgehog Grenade._

Two Plexiglas boxes are laid about in the open field, and in each box are filled with four pig carcasses hanging from the chains. For the Chimera, the pig carcasses are strapped in Locust armor. At Geoff's signal, both Dom and Joseph prepare to throw their grenades. The former starts to swing his bolo grenade before lobbing it at the right momentum and the latter got closer to the Plexiglas before hurling his. Both grenades landed at the same time but the results became different. The Bolo Grenade detonated in a large explosion, engulfing the targets in a cloud of fire. But rather than exploding the Hedgehog Grenade on the other hand, hovered in the air for a second before releasing large spikes across it surrounding area, piercing the pigs in its path at a high speed, and several of them was able to pierce the Plexiglas halfway through!

Geoff and Max whooped and holler at the mayhem at the results.

"I've never see the weapon like that until now!" Geoff raved over the Hedgehog grenade. "This is probably one of the most kick-ass weapons I've ever seen so far!"

"Without going on scientific details, the Hedgehog's speed and velocity high enough to pierce through the Plexiglas." Max announced. "That's one hell of a weapon."

"But let's not leave the Bolo grenade alone," Geoff remembered. "It's really innovating for them to make the grenade go farther."

"Yeah, the momentum makes the thrower at a safer distance in the battle field." Max said.

Doctor Dorian checked the destruction on both grenades, starting with the awe-inspiring Hedgehog Grenade.

"First target, the spikes were able to pierce the armor deep." The ER Surgeon pointed out while he removed the armor with slight difficulty. "One spike is lodged deep in the aorta, which is a kill, and there's one spike in the throat, and one in the lung which makes it an overkill. Second target's the same except the spikes shot through the armor and throughout the back like a giant bullet, so he's a goner. Third target's impaled with two spikes in his stomach, it's not as deep as the first two he'll die but a slowly and painfully. And as the for the fourth and farthest target, his armor is pierced but the spikes didn't go through any vital areas, so he'll live with medical help."

"So the farther the target is, the less effective." Geoff said with mild disappointment.

"But at least we didn't have to waste precious seconds twirling our grenade." Cappelli defended.

"That 'twirling' saves us from getting mangled by the Locust in close range." Dom shot back.

Doctor Dorian checked the Bolo grenade results, as the Plexiglas is blackened in soot and ash. The pig carcasses were torn off from their chains and their limbs were thrown everywhere as the smell of burnt meat is amuck.

"If I can find the first target, he's obviously dead." Doctor Dorian said while pointing out the strung body parts. "I think that head belongs to the second target, so he's dead as well. Targets three and four are still intact but they're burnt everywhere and one of them has his intestines hanging out from his opened stomach, so they won't be alive to see another day."

"As much as we loved the Hedgehog, the numbers doesn't lie." Max said. "Four kills over three, we're giving a reluctant edge with the Bolo Grenade.

_Narrator: Edge goes to the Bolo grenade due to its higher killing power and the longer-range over the Hedgehog.  
_  
**Edge: Locust Horde**__

Narrator: Hoping to win the final edge, Team Chimera brought in their Arc Charger, a shocking weapon to say the least. For the Locust Horde, they get a bigger bang with the Boomshot.

Nathan straps on the Arc Charger and entered the cave filled with five targets (Similar to the IRA testing for the Flamethrower). At Geoff's command, Nathan fires a blast of energy clings to the closest target in an arc like its namesake. Crackling of electricity runs across the cave's wall, each growing stronger every time it travels to another target in another arc. But Nathan isn't finished and fires a slower but stronger concentration of electricity, frying the targets to a fried crisp.

"I'm giving this weapon the nickname of Electric-thrower" Geoff said with a devilish glee. "According to the high speed image, the weapon actually connects with the next victim in the arc, and it grows more powerful every time it's fired."

"Not only that, but I can make it more powerful with the Ionic Burst," Nathan informed. "That's the slower charge I've shown earlier, but it makes it up with more powerful bursts."

"I just checked on our victims, and take a look a them." Doctor Dorian said as he led them to the cave. "They're obviously all dead, and no living thing can survived that being literally fried up to a crisp."

"I liked the fact it can kill multiple opponents, but I have a weapon that does the same thing but at a longer distance." Marcus said with an impressed nod.

Marcus Fenix steps out in the open field with the Boomshot Grenade Launcher, his targets are in a makeshift city street. At Max's signal, Marcus fires a large explosive that soars across room obliterating all in its path with a loud BOOM!

Max and Geoff howled in excitement to the explosion and when the smoke cleared, limbs and pieces of the targets were flown across the field, and a charred head of landed next to the crew a few feet away!

"According to the data, it's the same amount of explosives to the RPG." Max said while pointing the previous recordings to the IRA and the Somali testing.

"Like I said earlier, I don't think you'll need an medical expert to know that they're dead." Doctor Dorian said.

"So, who gets the edge?" Dom asked. "Surely, we didn't need to get close to the enemy."

"But we can still kill you if they dumb enough to get close." Joseph fired back.

"As impressive the Arc Charger is, it's only powerful because there are several targets adjacent to one another." Max said. "It's not really going to be effective if it's only one target."

"As much as we love the Arc Charger but there's also the case of its close range while the Boomshot keeps you at safer distance and gives a same amount of kills, if not more." Geoff said. "That's why we got to give a slight edge to the Boomshot.

_Narrator: Edge goes to the Boomshot Grenade launcher for its longer range._

**Edge: Locust Horde**

_Narrator: Testing is now complete; it is time to who is more superior. We now upload the data gathered from the tests into a battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studios. To avoid a lucky shot, we will simulate the battle a thousand times on a battle between the savage monsters.  
_

"Rather than winner of this battle, we'll only have the survivors." Max said. "All that's left is to press the button and see who is the Deadliest!"

Max presses the button to start and the Simulation begins.

Simulation: In a destroyed city landscape, five ferocious looking monsters with equally ferocious weapons are patrolling across the rubble in search for humans. The largest is about 8 feet tall and is standing above over its comrades and the leader is armored in what appears to be a red leather long coat. They are the Locusts lead by the hulking Boomer and the sinister Theron guard; meanwhile the Chimera hybrids are not far from them. They are another group of fearsome beasts, they lead by one called a Steelhead, an appropriate moniker for being the only one wearing a steel helmet, with the second in command is called a Hardfang and appears to wear a eye goggles over its four eyes. The Chimera leaders are the only ones that are fully armored compared to the lower hybrids who are only wearing leg protection and a belt like armor across their stomach.

The Chimera spots the Locust walking towards them unaware of them. One of the Hybrids pulls out the Bullseye rifle and fires a tag upon the closest Drone. When the tag hits the Drone in the chest, he roars in pain as the Theron Guard orders them to take cover in the rubble and the debris.

Locust Horde: 5

Chimera: 5

The same hybrid that fired the first shot opens fire again, the stream of glowing sphere flew rapidly across the sky, and zoomed homed in the unfortunate drone. Killing him from the back

Locust Horde: 4

Chimera: 5

The Theron Guard spots the weapon's capabilities and orders the remaining drones to kill the Locust with their Hammerburst as the Hybrid's body is riddled with bullets before hitting the ground, dead.

Locust Horde: 4

Chimera: 4

Knowing that it'll be a tough battle, the Steelhead then orders the Hardfang forward, like a wild beast it is. He charges while firing away the Arc Charger, the electric bolts flying towards the Locust. One of them hitting an unlucky drone, as he shrieks in pain while his body convulses before dying into a fried crisp.

Locust Horde: 3

Chimera: 4

Unfortunate for the Hardfang himself, the remaining Locusts had fallen back except for the Boomer who fires his Boomshot at the charging Chimera. After saying "Boom" the grenade launcher hits its charging target. Before he knew what hit him, the Hardfang was vaporized in the explosion.

Locust Horde: 3

Chimera: 3

Realizing that they are now being beaten, the three remaining Chimera retreated backwards as the three Locusts went after them. The final hybrid felt a piercing pain on its leg, and saw that it was an arrow lodged in it. Before he can think of pulling it out, the arrow exploded.

Locust Horde: 3

Chimera: 2

Now, outnumbered as well, the Steelhead ordered the last Hybrid in an ambush as they hid among the rubble. The Last Hybrid prepares his Hedgehog Grenade as they saw the locusts falling in their trap, and at a right timing, he threw the grenade. By the time it landed, the Theron Guard realized this and ordered the last drone to take cover. But the Boomer was slow both physically and mentally, and before he knew it. The giant collapsed to the ground…dead with large spikes lodged over his body.

Locust Horde: 2

Chimera: 2

Seeing the attacker, the Theron guard pulls out his own grenade from a safe distance, and threw it over the hiding place of the Chimera. A few seconds later, an explosion is heard, and out comes the dead Hybrid.

Locust Horde: 2

Chimera: 1

Knowing that the Steelhead is all alone, they spot him out of the open. The last Drone open fires with his Hammerburst but the Steelhead has activated the force field, making the shots useless. Panicked, the last Drone took for cover in a nearby concrete wall, only to feel something burning through his chest. He died, not knowing the Steelhead's Auger can shoot through walls.

Locust Horde: 1

Chimera: 1

The Theron Guard carefully flanked the Steelhead as the latter is in search of its last target. The Locust sees the Chimera taking cover in a nearby wall; the wall itself didn't look too sturdy. He then fires an arrow to the said wall. And before the Chimera noticed, the wall exploded onto him, crushing the Steelhead in a shower of Debris.

As the Theron Guard drew closer to check, he sees the Chimera was still alive albeit barely as his head is peeking out of the rubble of brick. Smiling sinisterly, the Theron Guard drew his Torque Bow by its blades.

Locust Horde: 1

Chimera: 0

With a wet sound of hacking, the Theron Guard walks away holding the decapitated Steelhead in one hand while hissing…

"FOR THE QUEEN!"

**Winner: Locust Horde**

_Narrator: Out of a thousand battles, the Locust Horde won with 525 kills with the Boomshot in the lead but the Chimera was close with 475 kills with the Augur. Their longer ranged weapons and armor had saved them to kill another day._

**Locust Horde's kills: 525**

Hammerburst Rifle: 100

Torque Bow: 105

Bolo Grenade: 152

Boomshot Grenade Launcher: 168

** The Chimera's kills: 475**

Bullseye Rifle: 106

Auger: 142

Hedgehog Grenade: 111

Arc Charger: 116

Discussion at the fight club, the teams talked about the results…

"I really thought the Chimera would win thanks to their weapons." Max said. "It was a close battle that the Locust barely survived."

"I loved the Chimera weapons." Geoff said. "But the Locust weapons were far more savage that made them win."

"I really shouldn't be happy that the Locust won." Fenix says, "Thanks to the test, we're fighting the tougher enemy."

"The Gears think that they're fighting a tougher enemy?" Hale asked in disbelief. "They should see when we battle the Titans or the Leviathan."

The end!

Next battle: The Kids Next Door, the protectors' of kid's rights and fighters of Adult Tyranny Vs The Brotherhood of Mutants, the next step of human evolution and enemies of the X-men.

Author's note: If you're mad that your favorite character lost, then tough crap. I said it's for entertainment and I'll repeat it again and again.

Fight requests are full but criticisms are accepted as long as they are CONSTRUCTIVE. Meaning tell me why you don't like about it or what I need to improve (But if you're a fan and still got pissed despite the warnings earlier, then you're an idiot.)


	10. KND Vs The Brotherhood of Mutants

**Deadliest Cartoon Character: Chapter 10  
**  
_Disclaimer: I neither own any cartoon characters nor Spike TV's hit "The Deadliest Warrior" This is just for pure entertainment and not to be taken seriously…_

_(Note: I'll be using the show's earlier seasons' system rather than the newer one for the sake of simplicity. That means Max Geiger is still hosting this but I'll be using Richard "Mack" Machowicz in some of the later fights.)_

_ Narrator: The Kids Next Door, defenders of childhood and fighters against adult tyranny.  
_

(Five children no older than ten are shown fighting ice cream men with makeshift weapons out of household items.)  
_  
Narrator: The Brotherhood of Mutants, teenaged troublemaking members that fight for mutant superiority to the human race.  
_  
(Five teenagers are shown causing havoc in the city streets.)

_Narrator: bWHO…IS…THE…DEADLIEST?/b  
_  
(Two squads clash out in an open battle.)

Narrator: To find out, our world-class fighters are testing fiction's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we find out what would happen when the two warriors go toe-to-toe. No rules, no safety, and no mercy: It's a duel to the death to decide who is…

**THE DEADLIEST CARTOON CHARACTER**

The scene now shows inside building where sounds of fighting are heard. Various weapons, targets, and animal carcasses are displayed along with some high tech looking gear.

Narrator: _The Fight Club: a_ _remote place in California where we've assembled doctors, scientists, and combat experts. They are here to decide who would win a battle between the Kids Next Door…_

KND's Stats:  
First year of appearance: April 2000  
Appeared in: Codename: Kids Next Door

Debut episode: No P In the Ool (Pilot)

Owned by: Curious Pictures and Cartoon Network  
Creator: Tom Warburton

Narrator: _And The Brotherhood of Mutants_

Brotherhood's Stats:  
First year of appearance: November 4 2000. (Series debut, starting with the Toad)  
Appeared in: X-Men: Evolution  
Debut episodes: Strategy X (The Toad), The X-Impulse (Avalanche), Mutant Crush (The Blob), Speed and Spyke (Quicksilver), and the Hex Factor (Scarlet Witch)

Owned by: Marvel Comics and Kids WB  
Creators: Stan Lee and Jack Kirby

the teams brought in to test the weapons are the leaders and high-ranking members of their organizations.

(Two young prepubescent girls are shown holding two makeshift weapons; one has blonde hair with brown eyes. She wears an orange striped sweatshirt over a turquoise turtleneck sweater and pants and her shoes are split from the big toe and the others, similar that of a ninja's footwear. The other girl had red curly hair, green sweater, and an orange skirt while clad in brown shoes.)

For Team KND there's the current supreme leader of the KND, Rachel "Numbuh 362" Mackenzie and head of the decommissioning squad Fanny "Numbuh 86" Fullbright.

"The Kids Next Door was been around since the 1800s," Numbuh 352 said while lowering her weapon. "We recruit kids all across the world to fight injustice many children endure, and we fought super powered enemies before, so we can take down the Brotherhood."

"Anytime an operative turns 13, they can either give up peacefully and have their memories erased, or we can force them to." Numbuh 86 added in an Irish brogue. "Most teenagers and their hormones put too much of a risk to stay in our organizations, but although there are certain exceptions with our teen operatives. But that brotherhood won't stand a chance with our kid power."

(Two adults one is oldest of the two with graying hair under the red and purple helmet that he wears which the colors match the outfit he wears with a purple cape to match. The second adult is a younger woman wearing a white dress, but the most distinguished feature is her blue skin and fiery red hair.)

For Team Brotherhood there's the father of Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch Magneto and Mystique, the woman who is responsible for bringing the Brotherhood together.

"Two of my children are part of Brotherhood." Magneto declared boldly. "Certainly, they will not be defeated by children with playthings."

"I've chosen them to join because I know they had the power." Mystique said. "When I disguised myself as the principal, I gave them orders to fill out, and not being defeated by children is one of them?"

"Wait a minute, aren't the two of you at each other for betraying one another?" 362 asked.

"We made up…" Magneto replied in a cop-out way.

"It's no contest the Brotherhood will win the fight." Geoff Desmoulin said to both Doctor Dorian and Max Geiger. "They grew up having to fight for their lives just to survive."

"Let's not leave out the Kids Next Door too much." Max added. "They did fight super powered villains before and show better teamwork skills than the Brotherhood."

_Narrator: The teams gathered six of the team's signature weapons and powers…  
_  
**Kid Next Door's weapons: **

S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R

G.U.M.Z.O.O.K.A

M.A.R.B.L.E

S.C.A.M.P.P

H.I.P.P.I.E-H.O.P

J.E.T.A.B.O.O.T.S

**Brotherhood's weapons: **

Blob's Fists

Toad's Tongue

Toad's Spit

Avalanche's Tremors

Scarlet Witch's Hex's

Quicksilver's Speed

_Narrator: Testing for the high speed of each team, it's Quicksilver's super speed vs. the KND's "Jet Engine Thrusted Airlift Boosts Operatives Over Tough Stuff". _

"Alright, we're going to have a quarter kilometer dash." Geoff said while the cast and crew are outside. "Rachel will be wearing the KND's J.E.T.A.B.O.O.T.S while Mystique will transform into Quicksilver. The goal isn't really going to be who reaches the line first, but what power can impress us the most. Remember that!"

Both testers nodded in acknowledgment and at a count of three. The two sped at breakneck but different speeds. Mystique as Quicksilver was so fast; the speed gun malfunctioned and broke! Not only that, the massive, roaring gusts of wind created by him/her that it nearly caused the cast and crew to fly off.

But Rachel's was just as impressive; she soared through the sky as like a certain superhero from Krypton. With the fiery afterburner leaves behind her, the cast's spare speed gun clocked at 559 mph. Not as fast as Quicksilver's but still pretty damn fast.

When the cast and crew eventually drove to the end of the dash, the crew gave in the results.

"Without boring you all with aerodynamics, you were both insanely fast!" Geoff hooted excitedly, congratulating both the testers.

"Before the first speed gun started to malfunction, the camera shows that Mystique was going at 768 mph, which is the speed of sound!" Max Geiger pointed out in the same amount of excitement. "Not only that but the winds caused it, was around at 110 mph. that's the same speed as a Category 2 hurricane!"

"And this is just Mystique's copying his powers," Doctor Dorian added. "If the real Quicksilver tested, he would've been even faster!"

"As for Rachel, she's fast but not as fast around 559 mph." Geoff said, checking on the second camera. "She's as fast as the first jet fighter during World War 2, the Messerschmitt Me 262."

"Well, I could've gone faster but I slowed down on purpose because I need to see where I was going." Numbuh 362 added. "I maybe slower, but I was able to maneuver around while Smurfette can't change directions."

Mystique glares at her in response.

To prove that the girl is correct, they perform the dash again only this time, they were ordered to make a sharp turn around the crew. As both were finished, Rachel was correct. Satellite images courtesy of Spike TV have shown that Mystique was forced to make wider turns compared to the J.E.T.A.B.O.O.T.S better maneuverability.

"I hate to say it, but she's right." Max said. "While the real Quicksilver may have no trouble making turns, the

_Narrator: The versatility of the jet boots gave the KND the edge in speed._

**Edge: KND**  
_  
Narrator: Confident they'll win the edge, the KND brought in their most advanced mechanized vehicle to the test. The Hare Inspired Piston Powered Ingenious Exoskeleton Hops Over Parents_

"This here's the H.I.P.P.I.E-H.O.P, one of our finest technology Kids Next Door can offer." Numbuh 86 said with pride and joy. "She's more advanced than our 2x4 tech!"

"A toy rabbit?" Magneto skeptically asked sounding nearly insulted. "IS this the best thing you children have to offer?"

"Now now, Magneto." Doctor Dorian said in a friendly banter. "We have simulations down for a reason."

"Your targets are five dummies dressed like the Brotherhood, with one dummy playing the Blob made by special material that imitates his size and elasticity." Geoff said. "Your job is to kill all five of them in a short period of time, are you ready?"

To proof her rival's disbelief, the Irish girl nodded and climbed into the robot rabbit. Only within seconds upon activation, H.I.P.P.I.E-H.O.P lunged at high speeds towards the targets. With one giant leap, the mechanized bunny flew through the sky like an airliner before crash landing on the five targets. After getting up, the four targets were flattened as pancakes, and as for the "Blob" the rabbit activated its other weapon. An enormous, stream of fire spewed from its mouth like a dragon frying the obese target into a crisp.

"I don't think you need my expertise to know that they're all dead." Doctor Dorian said. "I never seen such destruction unless by prehistoric standards!"

"And check this out," Max said. "The fire's readings go up to 1500 degrees Fahrenheit! That's the same as the I.R.A's flamethrower."

"That's not all," Geoff added. "Even without the kick-ass flamethrower, the collision readings the same as a high speed train hitting a car, so it just keeps going and going and going."

After saying that, a pink toy rabbit with sunglasses passes by while beating a drum unaware by the rest of the group.

_Narrator: For the Brotherhood's luck, they'll be using Scarlet Witch's Hex Bolts._

"For you Magneto, we have special gloves for you to wear that'll imitate your daughter's powers." Max said offering the super villain the said gloves. "Aim at the weapons which will cause them to explode, so we can see how much damage Scarlet Witch can do."

"Wait a minute, where did you get the money for the stuff anyway?" Numbuh 86 asked.

"Oh don't be too upset little girl." Magneto said with a confident grin, "Your toys aren't the only things that are versatile as well."

The mutant leader walked up to a target range, with five targets dressed like Sector V, each of the dummies is carrying a 2x4 weapon, and pressure patches attached. At Max's signal, Magneto fired the Hex Bolts at all five targets. First, nothing happened until all the sudden the weapons exploded into the "children's" faces with a large boom!

"That was intense!" Geoff roared with excitement. "The unexpected attack will get them off guard for sure."

Doctor Dorian checked the damages on the targets; fake blood stained the clothes, and severe burn wounds all around…

"Numbuhs Three and Five had their patches lit, so they're dead, and as for the rest?" He checks on Numbuhs One, Two, and Four. "Broken glass, metal fragments, and larger wooden splinters are lodged into their throats and aortas. Even if that didn't killed them, their faces will be intense pain from the 2nd degree burns."

"That sounds painful." Geoff said.

"Yeah, but looked how many seconds it took for the hex to activate." Numbuh 362 pointed out. "We can run over them and burn them alive!"

"Well, it's not like they're going to stand there and get hit by a rampaging rabbit." Mystique snorted.

"In this case, even a few seconds are precious time in battle." Max decided. "As much as we like the conceivability of the hex bolts, we're going to give the SLIGHT edge to the H.I.P.P.I.E –H.O.P"

_Narrator: Because the quicker ability to kill from the robot lagomorphs, the edge in Special Weapons goes to the KND. _

**Edge: KND  
**

_Narrator: Next, the two teams will test the mid-range combo test, comparing with the Toad's spit and long tongue vs. KND's Mustardy Armament Releases Big Loud Explosion._

Mystique transformed into The Toad and walks up to the firing range, her targets are five dummies dressed like Sector V. At Geoff's signal, Mystique shot her tongue at high speeds, knocking all of them down. She then grabs "Hoagie's" leg, and swung "him" around, landing on to "his" fallen teammates. As a finisher, the femme fatale spat onto "Numbuh One's" face. Once finished, the team goes and checks on the results.

"It's still the only time I'll ever use that power in national TV." Mystique said after transforming herself. "Sticking out my tongue is bad enough but spitting?"

"Well, aside from being disgusting. It can give the enemy a surprise." Geoff said, looking at the monitor. Toad's tongue is flexible enough to catch the enemy off guard."

"But it didn't kill." Max countered, pointing at the impact from the camera. "It may knock the kids in a daze, but it certainly won't kill."

Doctor Dorian came in sticking his gloved hand into the spit. After examining the viscosity of the fluid, he pulled his hand back with disgust, and wiped it off by rubbing into the dummy's sweater.

"Well, the saliva is thick enough similar to that of mucus." He reported while pulling off his glove. "It can certainly can cause the victim to drown if he can't get it off in time."

"I haven't seen an attack this disgusting ever since the Common Cold's." Rachel said, shaking her head. We have a much more effective weapon in hand.

Numbuh 362 is outside with five targets dressed like the Brotherhood. The said targets are all inside a wooden outhouse as the supreme leader explains her weapon.

"The M.A.R.B.L.E is one of our few lethal weapons we have in our arsenal." She said holding a harmless appearing children's toy to the cast and crew. "But looks can be deceiving to the enemy, because one of them can contain enough explosive to sink a ship."

"Well, we know we love our explosions." Max said. "Let's go test it out."

With a nod, she walks up to the outhouse to toss the ball inside the wooden crevices. After running away into the safe zone, the outhouse exploded into an inferno as debris flew along with the high-speed wind. When the coast was clear, there was nothing standing. Burning pieces of wood lain on both the ground and the unfortunate targets.

"That was amazing!" Geoff screamed like a schoolgirl at a Bieber concert. "That tiny marble packed enough explosive force to generate 324 psi, similar to that when we tested the Semtex!"

"It's a shame that it's a top secret information by the KND organization." Max said with a mild disappointment. "Because I would love to know how they packed so much bang for their buck but they still won our edge."

_Narrator: Edge once again goes to the KND ending with a loud bang._

**Edge: KND**

_Narrator: Hoping to another, the KND brought in Solid Pine Loaded Artillery Nicely Kicks Enemy Rear for melee combat to compare the Blob's mighty Fists._

Both Mystique and Numbuh 86 walked up to their appropriate gel target.

Fanny walked up to a gel target and using the wooden weapon.

"The S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R is our equalizer in fighting our adult enemies, and since they're bigger and stronger, we bring this weapon to the fight." The redheaded girl informed while holding her weapon to the hosts.

"Well, we like to see the great equalizer to use." Geoff said interestingly.

At his signal, Fanny unleashed the S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R at full force. The wooden beam smashed into the skull, flattening it with a sickening crunch. Fake blood began to ooze from the skull cavity and into the floor.

"I never saw such a lethal kill from an unsuspecting weapon." Doctor Dorian said with an astonished look with both Geoff and Max sharing the same expression as the ER surgeon. "That poor bastard's gonna die from the worst headache ever."

"Without boring you guys with physics, the weapon is essentially a Class 1 lever." Geoff informed everyone to the camera, after he was off from his stupor. "The fulcrum from the magnet gave the S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R the psi's of around 182, similar to that of Jesse James' pistol whip."

"Now what about you Mystique?" Max asked.

Without a single word, Mystique transforms into the Blob, and crushes the dummy's headwith a punch to the noggin. The heads exploded like Gallagher on watermelons.

"Well, we now know who gets the edge." Geoff said.

_Narrator: The Blob's Fists crushed the KND for the edge by the Brotherhood._

**Edge: Brotherhood**

_Narrator: For the final edge in long range, the Brotherhood brought in Avalanche's Tremors to the battle._

_Narrator: Not moved by the earthquake, the KND fires up with the Gumball Utilizing Mechanism Zings Overabundance Of Kandy Around and Soup Can And Magnified Photon Phlazer. _

Two girls walked around with 2x4 weapons around to the shooting range. The S.C.A.M.P.P is set to kill and the G.U.M.J.O.O.K.A's chewable ammunition is replaced by metal ball bearings. Magneto on the other hand is going to simulate Avalanche's tremors.

"I never knew 2x4 technology could be used to kill." Max said to the girls. "I thought you kids fought with condiments, toys, and household objects."

"We hate to admit this but KND has a protocol to use lethal force on more dangerous foes such as pedophiles and child soldiers." Rachel answered reluctantly. "And because of personal and national concerns, we can't tell you if we actually killed before or how many we killed."

"I can see why it's such a personal matter." Geoff nodded sympathetically, a surprise coming from a show that's all about killing.

For the weapons testing, the girls are expected to fire at five dummies, set in a table to simulate their club hangout. They are expected to kill as quickly as they can as they prepared their weapons. At Geoff's signal, they open fired at lasers and metal balls firing towards them at high speed. Once they're finished, the targets are covered in burn wounds and bruises, with some of the metal bearing even lodged into the flesh. The team was amazed at the carnage the makeshift weapons can produce.

"Lasers often cauterize wounds at the shooter's worst outcome. " Doctor Dorian announced. "But the addition of the metal bearings' high speed revealed broken jaw bones at the victim's best, to pieces of metal lodged onto their brain tissue at their worst."

"The G.U.M.J.O.O.K.A's velocity just went up to 115 mph." Max said bewilderedly. "Because of the rapid fire, it can prove that it can kill."

"Impressive toys, but they're still toys nonetheless." Magneto said in a contradictory unimpressed tone. "We have a power in a far greater scale."

Magneto's targets are sitting on the KND vehicle the _Carries Operatives Overhead Luxuriously Boasts Unbeatable Speed _or C.O.O.L.B.U.S for short. At Geoff's signal, Magneto threw his open arm out, pointing it at the bus, and slowly begins to close his hand. For the first few seconds, nothing happened until the bus groaned and rumbled as it starts to shake like a jackhammer. Then it grew louder and more violent before the glass shattered and the roof collapsed, crushing the poor victims underneath. Finally, it stopped with a deadly since, the once mighty bus is now impounded in a junkyard.

"Do you guys need my expertise to know that they're dead?" Doctor Dorian asked reluctantly "impalements, crushed bones, and pierced internal organs, and that's when they're lucky."

"The Richter scale went up to 5.0 earthquake." Geoff said with a shocked look. "It can and did cause major damage to the bus."

"It's a close call, but we're give the edge to Avalanche's Tremors." Max said. "I love the KND's weapons but this is an earthquake we're talking about."

_Narrator: The makeshift weapon proved faulty for the KND, which leads to the Brotherhood's edge in long range._

**Edge: Brotherhood**

_Narrator: Testing is now complete; it is time to who is more superior. We now upload the data gathered from the tests into a battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studios. To avoid a lucky shot, we will simulate the battle a thousand times on a battle between the two youths.  
_

"I guess you can say that is literally the battle of the ages." Max said before he presses the button to start the Simulation.

Simulation: All five Brotherhood members entered the Sector V tree house as quietly as possible, how the Blob was able to climb up to the top was a mystery even for them. But they were too focused on their mission to find out, that was until Toad accidentally triggered the alarm, and it was the classic string tripwire, much to his team's chagrin. Now that their cover was blown, the Brotherhood has no choice but to charge in.

Meanwhile inside the tree house, everyone in Sector V popped into the main briefing room, and saw the Brotherhood in their surveillance camera. Knowing their extremely high danger rating in their computer, the team was forced to use lethal force if necessary. Numbuh Two entered to the communications room to call in reinforcements while the rest of the team strapped on for battle. The portly young pilot then felt something slimy grabbing onto his leg, and dragged him underneath it with full force.

KND: 5

Brotherhood: 5

The rest of the team heard his screams of help and rushed into the room as they saw Toad, dragging Hoagie with his long tongue.

"Kids Next Door, BATTLE STATIONS!" The bald leader yelled out as he and the rest of the team charged towards Todd. He releases Numbuh Two with a loud plop and spat on them, which the rest of the KND manage to dodge in disgust. In retaliation, they open fired on him with high speed ball bearings from the G.U.M.Z.O.O.K.A and lasers from the S.C.A.M.P.P. The slimy amphibian wasn't able to dodge in time and was dropped down to the ground dead, his body covered laser wounds and bruises from the ball bearings.

KND: 5

Brotherhood: 4

"What happened to the security system?" Numbuh One asked while picking Numbuh Two back on his feet.

"It's gone all haywire, almost as if by magic." He replied. "It looks like we gotta hold on our own before reinforcements can arrive to help us."

Before he or anyone can say any more, an earthquake tremor erupts across the room. As the room rattles more violently with every second, the team managed to escape all except for Numbuh Two. The roof collapsed and crushed Hoagie P Gilligan under the heavy debris.

KND: 4

Brotherhood: 4

The surviving members of Sector V found their perpetrator; Avalanche along with the three associates Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, and the Blob.

Numbuhs 1, 3, 4, and 5 split up as their counterparts followed suit, firing back to gain cover. Numbuh Four unfortunately, was caught up by Quicksilver whose rapid punches felt like getting hit by a mule, as all Wally can do is shield himself from the rapid-fire blows. Even though the fighter managed to get his game back together, the worst part is that the tree house's runways and walls are being torn up, making his footing looser by the second if he doesn't dispatched the speedy teen on time. The Aussie grew more frustrated in every second as he fires his GU.M.Z.O.O.K.A wildly in a desperate hope that he'll hit him.

"Stand still so I can hit you, you cruddy bugger!" He yelled, only to find out he ran out of ammo. Horror fell onto his face as he looked everywhere in a frantic pace, then he heard Quicksilver's voice…

"Right behind ya squirt!"

Suddenly, a giant metal paw came out of nowhere and swatted Quicksilver away. He came crashing down to a nearby wall so hard, leaving a hole in a shape of his silhouette. By the time Pietro stumbled out of the wall, but the last thing he saw was another metal paw coming towards him before crushing him with an audible crunch.

KND: 4

Brotherhood: 3

The metal paw was from the H.I.P.P.I.E-H.O.P driven by Numbuh Three. Four was about to thank her for saving his life he saw the Blob's shadow popping out in the middle of nowhere. He pulled out his S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R and attacked him…with absolute zero effect. As the wooden planks passed through The Blob's gut like…well, a blob as he laughs. Fred Dukes grabbed the kid from down under with one hand and crushes his weapon with another, before the Japanese pilot can do anything to rescue him it was too late. The Blob punches Wally with enough immense force that the latter crashes hard down to the ground, making a miniature crater. To make sure he's stay dead, a large stomp was delivered to his chest, crushing his rib cage. Wallabee Beatles left a final gasp of air before dying…

KND: 3

Brotherhood: 3

Numbuh Three went berserk and charges at his morbidly obese killer. But amazingly, the Blob managed to hold the lagomorph's mechanic body off by pushing off against it. Large skid marks uprooted the tree house floor.

"HA! It's that all you got?" The Blob boasted.

"No, it's this!" She yelled and presses a red button in her cockpit.

The mechanic rabbit activated its flamethrower and cooks the Blob alive like a Thanksgiving turkey. He screams in excruciating pain before hitting the ground dead with a thunderous thud.

KND: 3

Brotherhood: 2

After avenging his death, Numbuh Three turned around when she realized the rabbit's system gone haywire. The self-destruct button was activated by itself and she frantically pressed the eject button but with no effect. Unknown to her, Scarlet Witch has cast a hex bolt to the rabbit robot during her battle all while hiding. All can Kuki do is look at the countdown before hitting to zero. The H.I.P.P.I.E-H.O.P explodes in a fiery inferno and the dead body of the girl flew before landing next to the boy's corpse.

KND: 2

Brotherhood: 2

Wanda finished off her last target but she didn't look too far for the second one. As Numbuh Five opened fire with her S.C.A.M.P.P. The KND second-in-command opened fired as the teenager dodged her blasts only to catch one laser on her thigh. Hissing in pain, she trots away from her attacker's view as Abigail closed in to find her.

Meanwhile, Scarlet Witch laid her back against the wall peeking out to seen Numbuh Five coming her way. As the latter drew closer, the former aimed, and fired a hex bolt at the soup can and flashlight gun. Numbuh Five raises her weapon to fire, but the gun exploded into her face. Fragments of broken glass, splinters, and other debris blinded her as her hands and face got covered in burns.

While her target is in disarray and screaming in pain, the Goth girl took this moment of opportunity to pin her on the floor. With one hand clutching her throat and the other hand glowing, she asked her target with her sinister grin.

"Any last words?"

"Yeah," Abby said weakly, and pulls out an M.A.R.B.L.E out of her pocket. "I'm taking you with me!"

Wanda's grin faded away when she realized what was happening, but the last thing she saw was a erupting fireball.

A large explosion is heard, and out flew one room came two smoldering corpses of two females. Numbuh One saw this and realizes that he was the only survivor. Coming to avenge his fallen comrades, he faces off Avalanche.

KND: 1

Brotherhood: 1

Turning on his J.E.T.A.B.O.O.T.S, the boy soars towards the teenager, and roars along with the jet's engines. He delivers a flying punch to Avalanche, where the latter was caught by surprise. Fortunately for Lance, it wasn't strong enough to knock him out but left a crimson liquid flowing out of his lip. Avalanche spat out a tooth, and kept his guard as the British boy buzzed in about like a wasp hoping to find a blind spot. Numbuh One spotted one said moment, and charged in at high speed, hoping to bring another attack.

That's where he made his final mistake because Avalanche was hoping he would attack this way. The hunter became the hunted as the teenager unleashed a tremor near the roof, and at a perfect timing, the roof collapsed with large debris of the treehouse and the equipment that Sector V's keeping came crashing down. And all of that landed onto Nigel's legs, and proceeds to crash-land to the floor. The bald boy was pinned to the floor, trying to pull himself free but it was no use, for his legs were broken in beyond repair. He felt his bone fragments jagging out of his flesh as a sea of intense agony came after.

Lance then released one final tremor, where a falling piece of concrete came falling down, and crushing Nigel's head like an egg. Blood and gray matter stained the wooden floor and his trademark sunglasses fell beside the victor's feet where the said feet stepped on.

With the leader of Sector V dead, Avalanche pumped his fist in the air and roared victoriously.

Brotherhood: 1

KND: 0

**Winner: Brotherhood of Mutants**

_Narrator: Out of a thousand battles, the Brotherhood won the battle with 676 kills with Avalanche's tremors with 270 kills, almost making half of the total kills. The KND on the other hand, only earned 324 kills with the H.I.P.P.Y-H.O.P with 190 kills. This is due to the fact that only half of their weapons are considered lethal, and the rest of the weapons failed to stop and subdue the Brotherhood, let alone kill._

**Kids Next Door's kills: 324**

S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R: 5

G.U.M.J.O.O.K.A: 7

M.A.R.B.L.E: 50

S.C.A.M.P.P: 70

H.I.P.P.Y-H.O.P: 190

J.E.T.A.B.O.O.T.S: 2

**Brotherhood of Mutants' Kills: 676**

Blob's fists: 127

Toad's tongue: 0

Toad's spit: 3

Scarlet Witch's hex: 175

Avalanche's tremors: 270

Quicksilver's super speed: 1

Discussion at the fight club, the teams talked about the results…

"I knew they wouldn't lose to a bunch of children." Magneto said. "But I'm not surprised that my son and daughter were the ones that were killed in the simulation."

"WHAT? The computer is biased towards us kids!" 86 said infuriated. "The computer's probably made by an adult."

The final scene shows the KND reinforcements arriving too late on the scene, the fallen Sector V were carried in their numbered body bags. One of the two soldiers, a Numbuh 44 asked his twin brother…"Great, now how are we going to explain this to their parents?"

The end!

Next battle, reviewer's choice: Pick who you want to see in the next battle of the next chapter of Deadliest Cartoon Character! Jake Long Vs Danny Phantom or Sora vs Ashoka Tano! Leave a comment in my DeviantArt or review in my !

Author's note: If you're mad that your favorite character lost, then tough crap. I said it's for entertainment and I'll repeat it again and again.

Future requests are still full, but criticisms are accepted as long as they are CONSTRUCTIVE. Meaning tell me why you don't like about it or what I need to improve (But if you're a fan and still got pissed despite the warnings earlier, then you're an idiot.)


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